Confirmation Bias - Confirmation Bias is the tendency to pay more attention to things which reinforce your beliefs than to things which contradict them.
Description:
When people are confronted with new information, they tend to view it subjectively in light of things they already believe or want to believe are true. Because of this, there is a tendency to focus more attention on data which reinforces their pre-existing beliefs and to suppress or disregard data which challenges their beliefs. This tendency to focus on data which confirms an existing belief is known as confirmation bias.
Confirmation bias affects everybody, including the people who suffer from personality disorders and the people who care for them.
Relationships between personality-disordered individuals (PD's) and non personality-disordered individuals (Non-PD's) are often strongly emotionally charged. Confirmation bias can influence what these people believe about each other and how they interpret each other's behavior. Understanding how confirmation bIas affects human behavior sometimes helps to explain how dysfunctional relationships stay that way.
The human brain is incredibly adept at pattern recognition. This gives us the ability to quickly reduce a lot of complex, contradictory information into simple "black and white" decisions and ideas. Our value systems give us a framework that helps us to quickly recognize patterns and process data. This judgmental ability helps to give us lightning-fast reactions to events that happen around us. However, this same ability to make instant judgments can sometimes lead to mistakes.
When we describe people as "seeing the glass half full" or "seeing the glass half empty", we are describing a confirmation bias.
When confronted with data which contradicts an existing world view, most people experience a sense of internal discomfort known as Cognitive Dissonance. There is a tendency to suppress thoughts that generate this discomfort and this contributes to confirmation bias.
Examples of Confirmation Bias in People who suffer from Personality Disorders:
People who suffer from Personality Disorders are often prone to exhibit behaviors which demonstrate confirmation bias:
"Always" & "Never" Statements - "Always" & "Never" Statements are declarations containing the words "always" or "never". They are commonly used but rarely true.
Blaming - Blaming is the practice of identifying a person or people responsible for creating a problem, rather than identifying ways of dealing with the problem.
Catastrophizing - Catastrophizing is the habit of automatically assuming a "worst case scenario" and inappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events.
Denial- Denial is believing or imagining that some factual reality, circumstance, feeling or memory does not exist or did not happen.
Dissociation- Dissociation, or disassociation, is a psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality.
Favoritism - Favoritism is the practice of systematically giving positive, preferential treatment to one child, subordinate or associate among a group of peers.
Fear of Abandonment - Fear of abandonment is a phobia, sometimes exhibited by people with personality disorders, that they are in imminent danger of being rejected, discarded or replaced at the whim of a person who is close to them.
Gaslighting - Gaslighting is the practice of systematically convincing an individual that their understanding of reality is mistaken or false. The term "Gaslighting" is taken from the 1944 MGM movie “Gaslight”.
Hyper Vigilance - Hyper Vigilance is the practice of maintaining an unhealthy level of interest in the behaviors, comments, thoughts and interests of others.
Infantilization - Infantilization is the practice of treating a child as if they are much younger than their actual age.
Projection - Projection is the act of attributing one's own feelings or traits onto another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits.
Ranking and Comparing - Ranking is the practice of drawing unnecessary and inappropriate comparisons between individuals or groups for the purpose of raising one's own self-esteem or lowering someone else's sense of self-worth relative to a peer group.
Scapegoating - Scapegoating is the practice of singling out one child, employee or member of a group of peers for unmerited negative treatment or blame.
Selective Memory and Selective Amnesia - Selective Memory and Selective Amnesia is the use of memory, or a lack of memory, which is selective to the point of reinforcing a bias, belief or desired outcome.
Selective Competence - Selective Competence is the practice of demonstrating different levels of intelligence, resourcefulness, strength or competence depending on the situation or environment.
Self-Aggrandizement - Self-Aggrandizement is a pattern of pompous behavior, boasting, narcissism or competitiveness designed to create an appearance of superiority.
Self Doubt - It's common for people who have lived a long time in a highly charged environment with a personality-disordered individual to begin to doubt their own moral compass and their own mental health.
Self-Loathing - Self-Loathing is an extreme self-hatred of one's own self, actions or one's ethnic or demographic background.
Shaming - The difference between blaming and shaming is that in blaming someone tells you that you did something bad, in shaming someone tells you that you are something bad.
Splitting - Splitting is a psychological term used to describe the practice of thinking about people and situations in extremes and regarding them as completely "good" or "bad".
Testing - Testing is the practice of repeatedly forcing another individual to demonstrate or prove their love or commitment to the relationship.
Tunnel Vision - Tunnel Vision is the habit or tendency to only see or focus on a single priority while neglecting or ignoring other important priorities.
Examples of Confirmation Bias in Non-PD's:
Family members and partners of personality-disordered individuals are also prone to exhibit confirmation bias in their own behavior:
Abuse Amnesia - Abuse Amnesia is a form of denial in which a victim habitually "forgives and forgets" episodes of abuse when it would be more appropriate, and ultimately better for both parties, to hold them accountable for their own actions.
Depression (Non-PD) -Depression is when you feel sadder than your circumstances dictate, for longer than your circumstances last, but still can't seem to break out of it.
Intermittent Reinforcement - Intermittent Reinforcement is when rules, rewards or personal boundaries are handed out or enforced inconsistently and occasionally. This usually encourages another person to keep pushing until they get what they want from you without changing their own behavior.
Lack of Boundaries - A lack of boundaries is often at the root of long-term abusive relationships. Lack of boundaries means the absence of rules, limits and guidelines for acceptable behavior. Inconsistent or intermittent reinforcement of consequences for inappropriate behavior is common among both abusers and abuse victims.
Learned Helplessness- Learned helplessness is when a person begins to believe that they have no control over a situation, even when they do.
Denial - Denial is believing or imagining that some factual reality, circumstance, feeling or memory does not exist or did not happen.
Rescuer Syndrome -Rescuer Syndrome is when a non-personality-disordered (Non-PD) individual mistakenly assumes that their own skills and qualities are adequate to cure or compensate for their personality-disordered loved-one's mental health issues. The Non-PD often disregards medical or professional best-practice and attempts to cure the personality disorder through their own personal effort.
Stockholm Syndrome - Stockholm Syndrome is when a hostage, kidnap victim or abuse victim develops a sense of loyalty or co-operation towards their captor or abuser, disregarding the abuse or the danger and protecting or sustaining the perpetrator.
What it feels like:
If you are in a relationship with a person who is influenced by a confirmation bias, you may feel frustrated at their ability to completely disregard the evidence in front of them which demonstrates that they have come to an incorrect conclusion about something. They may appear stubborn, unyielding, or unwilling to compromise. They may seem to ignore 99% of the evidence that says they are wrong and cling to the 1% of the evidence that supports their position. You may feel frustrated and think that they are doing this on purpose.
If you as a non personality-disordered (Non-PD) individual are being controlled by a confirmation bias, chances are you are making decisions or interpreting circumstances where there is a strong emotional component. You may feel you have a lot to gain or lose depending on the outcome of what you are observing. You may feel a "tug of war" tension between your heart and your head. Usually, the more there is at stake, the stronger your emotional bias will be.
What NOT to do:
If someone else has a confirmation bias:
Don't assume they know they are in the wrong. It's possible they believe they are in the right because it feels right, even if it is not logically right.
Don't get into an argument or Circular Conversation. If their decisions are being made based on their feelings, then they are not likely to change their mind until after their feelings change.
Don't blame yourself or look for a reason why people believe illogical things.
Don't Thought Police or try to force anyone to think the way you do. It's OK to allow somebody else to continue to believe something that is inaccurate. It's not wrong to be wrong.
What TO do:
Try to detach yourself and put yourself in a position where it doesn't matter what the other person chooses to think or believe.
Surround yourself with supportive people who will believe your side of the story and will validate your feelings. Talk to trusted friends, family and professionals who can help you work it out.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
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