Depression (Non-PD) -Depression is when you feel sadder than your circumstances dictate, for longer than your circumstances last, but still can't seem to break out of it.
Description:
Symptoms of Depression:
Here is a list (from Mayoclinic.com) of common symptoms of depression:
Loss of interest in normal daily activities
Feeling sad or down
Feeling hopeless
Crying spells for no apparent reason
Problems sleeping
Trouble focusing or concentrating
Difficulty making decisions
Unintentional weight gain or loss
Irritability
Restlessness
Being easily annoyed
Feeling fatigued or weak
Feeling worthless
Loss of interest in sex
Thoughts of suicide or suicidal behavior
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
Depression symptoms can vary because different people experience depression in different ways. A 25-year-old man with depression may not have the same symptoms as a 70-year-old man, for instance. For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it's obvious something isn't right. Others may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.
Depression Among People who Suffer from Personality Disorders
People who suffer from personality disorders are particularly prone to depression because:
The disorder itself may produce irrational feelings of depression.
The consequences of poor choices made may result in regret and depression.
A Non-PD may have trouble understanding the depressive symptoms of a PD-loved-one because sometimes the depressive symptoms are a consequence of the disorder itself and sometimes the depressive symptoms may be a reaction to their circumstances. This may create the appearance of the person with the personality disorder being erratic or hard to "figure -out" and the inconsistency may lead to the Non determining that the PDI is being insincere or manipulative.
It's helpful to understand that while a person with a personality disorder may be very insincere or manipulative at times, they may also be very sincerely depressed at times.
So sometimes the person with the personality disorder may be complaining about their situation because they are controlling you. Sometimes they may be complaining about their situation because they are really hurting. If you react based on the way they were the "last time" you may completely miss the mark.
Understanding this can be helpful - because it can free you up from trying to "figure out" your loved one or write a script for your relationship. There's no way to get inside their head and connect the dots for them - so you might as well not try. It's much more productive to read each situation with honest objectivity. What do the facts of the situation call for? Who is being hurt? Who is hurting others? Who needs protection? Who needs to be left alone? If you try to remove scripts from your playbook and look at each situation objectively you will be better prepared to respond to the bouts of depression which will come in your loved-one.
They won't be wearing a T-shirt which tells you what their state of mind is. Understand that they have a personality disorder - and they have depression sometimes - and it's not your job to "program" them back into happiness - any more than it would be your job to grant them sight if they were blind.
Your job is to protect the innocents. So first you have to survey the situation and determine - as objectively as you can - who is innocent and who needs protection. Are there children being hurt? Are you being hurt? Are innocent bystanders being hurt? Is the person with the PD being hurt? Figure out, based on the behavior, who needs to be protected and get them to safety as best you can.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
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