Non-PD Friend Support

Finding Supportive Friendships - It's important to find supportive people you can talk to on a regular basis who understand personality disorders and the the dynamics of being in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder.

Talk About It - Find A Friend (A trustworthy one!)

The old adage that "a problem shared is a problem halved" can be very true.

First - a word of caution. We have to be careful about whom we choose as friends. Many of us Non-PD's are only too aware of the risks of trusting others, given what we have experienced. Trust is something that needs to be earned, not given carelessly.

That said - it can be equally risky to charge off in the opposite direction and isolate ourselves completely from the world around us. Human beings are social creatures. We all need to feel the warmth of friendship. There's a reason why solitary confinement is such a harsh punishment. It makes people go insane. It's not wise to imprison ourselves or hurt ourselves in that way.

Just as there are people in the world who are apt to hurt us there are also good people who can bring life and joy and love into our lives. And if we haven't had the joy of a friendship with a kind person, we've got a lot to gain.

As the old saying goes:

"Make new friends and keep the old;

One is silver and the other is gold"

Getting in touch with an old friend can be a wonderful gift to yourself - and to the old friend.

Making new friends - there's really no formula for that but a few things are true -

If you're sitting at home all day and not meeting anybody new you're not making new friends (except maybe online)

You're more likely to make friends with people you have something in common with. It's hard to make a friend in the grocery line or sitting in your car. So volunteer for a group activity, attend a club, take an art class, a dance lesson, go to a church group. Put yourself in places where you're comfortable to strike up a conversation with someone you're comfortable with. Avoid places that make you feel uncomfortable - so if the local roller disco is not your thing - give yourself permission to do something else - not nothing else.

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For More Information & Support...

If you suspect you may have a family member or partner who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.

• Support Forum - Read real stories. Ask questions.
• Top 100 Traits of people with Personality Disorders.
• Toolbox - Ideas for coping and common mistakes.
• Personality Disorder Glossary - Learn the lingo.
• Links to Personality Disorder-related sites.
• Books about personality disorders.