The Non-PD "Recycle Bin" - The Non-PD "Recycle Bin" is a collection of some of the most common reactions and responses to personality disordered behaviors that many of us have instinctively tried, sometimes over and over, but that have not been effective in most cases in helping improve our quality of life or the quality of life of those who have the personality disorder.
Description:
Click on the links for more information on each topic:
Abuse Amnesia - Abuse Amnesia is a form of denial in which a victim habitually "forgives and forgets" episodes of abuse when it would be more appropriate - and ultimately better for both parties - to hold them accountable for their own actions.
Amateur Diagnosis - An Amateur Diagnosis is when a non-qualified individual confronts someone whom they suspect suffers from a personality-disorder and shares this belief with them, usually in the hope that this revelation will help to improve the relationship or the situation.
Avoidance - Avoidance is the practice of withdrawing from relationships with other people as a defensive measure to reduce the risk of rejection, accountability, criticism or exposure.
Circular Conversations - Circular Conversations are arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no real resolution.
Codependency - A Codependency is a relationship in which an otherwise mentally-healthy person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected by an addiction or mental illness.
"Control-Me" Syndrome - "Control-Me" Syndrome describes a tendency that some abuse victims and some people who suffer from personality disorders have to nurture relationships with people who have a controlling narcissistic, antisocial or "acting-out" nature.
Denial (Non-PD) -Denial is believing or imagining that some factual reality, circumstance, feeling or memory does not exist or did not happen. Non-PD Denial is cycles of particular types of denial that people who live with or are close to personality disordered people are prone to.
Enabling - Enabling is a pattern of behavior often adopted by abuse victims which seeks to avoid confrontation and conflict by absorbing the abuse without challenging it or setting boundaries. The perpetrator of the abuse is thus "enabled" to continue their pattern of behavior.
Fix-It Syndrome - Fix-It Syndrome is when a non-personality-disordered individual frequently puts themselves in the position of a caretaker who is responsible for compensating for their personality-disordered loved-one's behaviors, cleaning up any messes created by their actions and fixing any problems arising from their mental health issues.
Fleas - When a non-personality-disordered individual (Non-PD) begins imitating or emulating some of the disordered behavior of a loved one or family member with a personality disorder this is sometimes referred to as "getting fleas".
Intermittent Reinforcement - Intermittent Reinforcement is when rules, rewards or personal boundaries are handed out or enforced inconsistently and occasionally. This usually encourages another person to keep pushing until they get what they want from you without changing their own behavior.
Imposed Isolation - Isolation from friends, family, peers and supportive communities is common among victims of abuse. Isolation is sometimes caused by a person who has a personality disorder who does not want someone close to them having close relationships with others. Isolation can also be self-imposed by abuse victims, who out of a sense of shame, fear, or guilt fear the consequences of what might happen if outsiders learn too much.
Lack of Boundaries - Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissable ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.
Learned Helplessness- Learned helplessness is when a person begins to believe they have no control over a situation, even when they actually do have the power to change their circumstances, leading them into an unneccessary state of depression, where initiative, action or investment is deemed futile.
Obedience - In 1961 and 1962, Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram performed a famous series of experiments which demonstrated that about 2 out of 3 people will perform a cruel action towards another person if instructed to do so by someone whom they regard as an authority figure. This demonstrated that most people are prone to doing something they do not want to do, even something they would normally regard as "wrong", just because they are told to do it by an assertive or authoritative person.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior - Passive Aggressive behavior is the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive, passive way (such as through procrastination and stubbornness).
Riding The Emotional Elevator - The Emotional Elevator is a way of describing how people who suffer from personality disorders and those closest to them sometimes take a fast track down to different levels of emotional maturity.
Rescuer Syndrome -Rescuer Syndrome is when a non-personality-disordered individual mistakenly assumes that their own skills and qualities are adequate to cure or compensate for their personality-disordered loved-one's mental health issues, often disregarding medical or professional best-practice and attempts to cure the personality disorder through their own personal effort.
Stockholm Syndrome - Stockholm Syndrome is when a hostage, kidnap victim or abuse victim develops a sense of loyalty or co-operation towards their captor or abuser, disregarding the abuse or the danger and protecting or sustaining the perpetrator.
Thought Policing - Thought Policing is any process of trying to question, control, or unduly influence another persons thoughts or feelings.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or partner who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
Sep 1, 2010 - We have just completed the first of what will be an annual leadership nomination and election cycle. In addition to Gary being reconfirmed as site owner and MoGlow, Haggis & Aames being reconfirmed as Admins, Klarity Belle and 2bad were appointed as new moderators. Please join us in welcoming Klarity Belle and 2bad to the OOTF leadership team.
Jul 21, 2010 - We will shortly be bidding farewell to an old friend - our original "nook2.com" url. She has served us well! Please update all bookmarks and links to point to the new Out of the FOG domain at http://www.outofthefog.net
New Leadership Guidelines Posted
Jun 23, 2010 - New Out of the FOG Leadership Guidelines have been developed. These explain the process we intend to use at Out of the FOG to appoint new moderators, admins and site owners going forward. Our goal is to implement a consistent, transparent and sustainable process for leadership changes and to introduce a component of accountability.
