The Non-PD "Toolbox" - The Non-PD "Toolbox" is a collection of ideas and responses to personality disordered behaviors that haveworked well in most cases.
Description:
Click on the links for more info on each topic:
Personal Safety - Personal Safety is a list of actions that are designed to keep situations from escalating and to make sure that Physical, Emotional and Verbal abuse is avoided or stopped at the first moment it begins to happen. It contains lists of 1. When to stop the conversation, 2. When to leave the room and 3. When to call the police.
Boundaries - Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissable ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.
The 51% Rule - The 51% Rule says that we need to consider our own needs just a little more that those of others in order to be able to help them effectively.
No Contact (NC) - Going "No Contact" means cutting off all forms of correspondence, communication and personal contact with a person who suffers from a personality disorder in order to protect yourself from recurring abuse.
Putting Children First - Putting Children First means making decisions based on "what is in the best interests of the children", regardless of the consequences for the parents and any other parties involved.
Situational Ethics - Situational Ethics is a philosophy which promotes the idea that, when dealing with a crisis, the end justifies the means and that a rigid interpretation of the rules, laws and moral codes should be temporarily set aside if a greater good or lesser evil is served by doing so. Understanding situational ethics in the presence of dissociative thought sometimes explains the apparently unethical behavior of people who suffer from personality disorders.
The 3 "C's" Rule- The 3 "C's" rule is a reminder to victim's of abuse that "I didn't Cause it, I can't Cure it and I can't Control it.
The 50% Rule- The 50% Rule says that we are responsible for 50% of the things that happen in any relationship we share with a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
My Stuff/Your Stuff- My Stuff/Your Stuff is a thought technique of reminding yourself to separate what is really your responsibility, your concern and under your control and what is a personality-disordered individual's responsibility, concern and under their control.
Everybody Gets to Clean Up Their Own Messes - Everybody Gets to Clean Up Their Own Messes is a principal that encourages us to take responsibility for dealing with our own messes and leave other people to clean up theirs.
Time Out - A Time-Out is a decision to temporarily disengage from an argument, conversation, interpersonal situation or conflict.
Therapy for Non-PD's- Once they have learned to protect themselves and emotionally detach from the personality -disordered individuals in their lives, many Non-Personality Disordered Individuals (Non-PD's) find that they benefit from spending time with a good therapist where they can be encouraged, learn more about themselves and learn ways to work on themselves.
Finding Supportive Friendships- It's important to find supportive people you can talk to on a regular basis who understand personality disorders and the the dynamics of being in a relationship with someone who suffers from a personality disorder.
Hot Penning - Hot Penning is a technique of journaling where you rapidly write down whatever comes to mind on a topic without taking a break, stopping to think or slowing down to correct spelling & punctuation.
Making Choices - Choices are the opportunities we have to change things for the better - or worse.
Working On Ourselves - Working On Ourselves means taking some of our energy, time and focus off of the personality disordered people in our lives and restoring a more healthy balance where we spend an appropriate amount of time on improving our own situation, regardless of what the person who suffers from the personality disorder does.
Rules Of Relationships - Rules of Relationships are a series of ideas for non-personality-disordered individuals to consider when thinking about getting involved in romantic relationships.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or partner who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
Sep 1, 2010 - We have just completed the first of what will be an annual leadership nomination and election cycle. In addition to Gary being reconfirmed as site owner and MoGlow, Haggis & Aames being reconfirmed as Admins, Klarity Belle and 2bad were appointed as new moderators. Please join us in welcoming Klarity Belle and 2bad to the OOTF leadership team.
Jul 21, 2010 - We will shortly be bidding farewell to an old friend - our original "nook2.com" url. She has served us well! Please update all bookmarks and links to point to the new Out of the FOG domain at http://www.outofthefog.net
New Leadership Guidelines Posted
Jun 23, 2010 - New Out of the FOG Leadership Guidelines have been developed. These explain the process we intend to use at Out of the FOG to appoint new moderators, admins and site owners going forward. Our goal is to implement a consistent, transparent and sustainable process for leadership changes and to introduce a component of accountability.
