Leaving Checklist - The Leaving Checklist is a list of things to prepare and things to consider before, during and after separating from a person who suffers from a personality disorder.
BEFORE YOU LEAVE:
Start a private bank account in a bank that your SO doesn't use and put money in it.
Rent a post office box and forward your mail to it.
Have a safe place to stay, preferably where your partner won't easily find you.
Reconnect with responsible and supportive friends and family who were pushed away during your relationship with your partner.
Make copies of important documents that you will need:
- Bank/Credit Card records
- Telephone records
- past tax return copies, bills, financial records etc.
- educational and medical records for the children
Put the following in a secure location:
- your credit/debit/atm cards
- wedding/birth certificates,
- passports
- photographs and family treasures that you want to keep
Locate important records concerning your SO
- Driver license, License plate #
- Social Security #
WHEN YOU LEAVE:
Have a bag in the car with clothes, medications & toiletries, spare keys etc.
Close all joint bank accounts, credit cards etc immediately.
Make sure your mail is being re-routed to your new location.
Don't tell your partner you are leaving until you are on the way to the safe place. Use a pay phone on the way, preferably not at your destination city. Do not use the telephone at the safe place as this will show on Caller ID.
AFTER YOU LEAVE:
Stay away!
Let the answering machine do the talking for you.
Bring backup when you go to collect your things.
Don't let yourself be alone with your SO.
Police and/or Sheriff are willing go with you in nearly every city.
For More Information & Support...
If you suspect you may have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, we encourage you to learn all you can and surround yourself with support as you learn how to cope.
On Tuesday November 1, 2011, the Out of the FOG Website and Support Forum celebrates 4 years of providing information and support for those with a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder. Our site receives over 2 million hits per year and our support forum has received more than 68,000 posts from 2700 members. Thanks to all who support OOTF with your participation, time and gifts and help to make this unique community possible.
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