Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Cloud & Townsend

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"Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No..." by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

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The book helped me ground my boundaries and not because of faith, simply because of the way the book is written with feeling and rationality and real world experience and application. As a matter of fact it doesn't matter which faith you belong to I think (I'm not Christian) or if to any, originally the Christian angle put me off, but I'm so happy I gave the book a second chance.
If Im not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when Im only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)



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Just stumbled across this thread. "Boundaries" is a great book. Boundaries are a great tool for handling people with a PD. And this book in particular is far and away the best book I've ever read on the subject.

It's much more informative than the average book on boundaries. For example, the average book on boundaries deals mainly with "doormats" (people-pleasers) who find themselves unable to say "no" and end up getting walked on by other people. But this book by Cloud and Townsend goes a lot deeper into the subject than most. They break the "doormats" down into different types or categories depending on what kinds of sacrifices they make for others. Enablers, codependents, martyrs, etc.

As other posts have mentioned, the book is written from a Christian perspective: Lots of quotes from the Bible and all that. I ignored all that stuff, since I'm not a believer. Meantime, the psychology portion of the book is excellent, indeed flawless; rare to see in a book with a Christian perspective.

If readers are curious about the kind of advice given in the book (and how it pertains to handling PDs), I provided some notes from the book on the subject of boundaries in marriage in another thread. See this post of mine: http://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=67023.msg591141#msg591141
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 09:47:24 PM by Oldguy61 »