One of my favorites on BPD (if there can be such a thing)! I read it highlighter in hand, tears streaming down my face. It horrified me reading what I could so easily have written, words I have said, thoughts I have had so many times. I didn't identify with the four types of fathers, as neither were around during mother's performances, but the mothers?? Oh yeah. Mine was very much Queen/witch when I was growing up, and has evolved more into Waif/hermit as she's aged. I suspect that's because she realized the old behaviors simply don't work anymore. She doesn't have that power over our lives that she had when we were children. I love that UTBM gives real time advice for how to manage yourself when faced with the various types. That's the first place I became aware of JADE - don't justify, argue, defend or explain your choices. She doesn't have to agree or understand??! I don't have to keep explaining myself over and over?? Groundbreaking for me!Thanks for reviewing this one!
I'd love to do that, tho I've got to snag a copy first, & it's not cheap. About to go back to school & have to get out of the "I can buy whatever I want whenever" mentality.
Quote from: Is This Normal on December 17, 2016, 02:28:05 PMI'd love to do that, tho I've got to snag a copy first, & it's not cheap. About to go back to school & have to get out of the "I can buy whatever I want whenever" mentality.Is there anyone who has been able to get this book for less than $33.00 used on amazon?
DJCleo, thanks for that link! I've been reading that blog for the past two days and it has given me a lot of insight. My PDm just might be BPD and not NPD, although it really doesn't matter. Abuse and irrational crazy behavior is still the same regardless of the label.
"Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship" by Christina Ann Lawson I found this book very helpful and enlightening. I've been reading nearly nonstop about PDs, family systems and other psychological issues, and this book stands out from the group.The book first describes the overall problems between borderline mothers and children (lack of trust, denial, making children feel bad with shame, anxiety, guilt and rage).Then it talks about four types of borderline mothers:HermitWaifQueenWitchand how they each behave, as well as the damage done to the children of each type (they can overlap) and how to survive them. I felt that it was well written enough that when I got to the sections that most pertained to my mother, it was like reading directly about her, and one of them I couldn't stop crying it was so spot on and emotionally wrenching.I would recommend this book