Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #20 on: February 24, 2017, 08:32:08 PM »
To cut down  on the amount of junk/sugar that I eat.

To lose about 10-15 kgs.

To exercise (walk) more often.

To find the money to replace the guttering and install gutterguard.

Failing that, to clean the gutters more often.

To trim my nails and moisturise my hands more often.

To stop giving my u/npd exH and his apalling N wife so much of my brain space and emotional energy.

To stop believing that all single men are b******s and that they all come with a narcissistic woman attached.

To keep my house cleaner and tidier.

To buy some decent clothes that fit me properly and aren't so obviously from the op shop.

To play my flute more and perhaps get back into performing somehow.

AOD

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eccentricvirgo

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2017, 04:49:16 PM »
1. Find a more stable job (that is at least tolerable).
2. Find that job in another state (I live in one of the most expensive states in the U.S.).
3. These two things will hopefully help me with goal 3, become not homeless (I live in my car right now).
4. Practice more mindfulness meditation.
5. Continue the practice of not doing things just to please others, especially when those others are possibly trying to manipulate me. I've gotten better at this, but I currently have a boss that I've realized doesn't financially show any appreciation for my work and expects me to do the work of about 3 people, while not giving me more hours or pay. I leave in 10 days to a new job where I hope I can establish right off that this is NOT POSSIBLE to do to me (this upcoming job does not fulfill goal #1 as it is seasonal).
6. Change the way I eat so it is much healthier and works better for me - I have bad IBS and reactive hypoglycemia, and being homeless severely limits your food choices.

If anybody wonders why I'm homeless, it's because I, like many people in their late 20s/early 30s, am at that period in life where things such as job changes or life changes lead one to normally having to go back to living with one's parents temporarily. However, I will not go back to an extremely dysfunctional household where I was the scapegoat and badly abused on a daily basis for my entire life. So I chose my car, because "friends" are nowhere to be seen (what a surprise, I chose fairweather friends and ones who use me for their benefit, because I grew up trained to please everybody but myself), services are terrible where I live (a few monitors at the homeless shelter here realized I have PTSD and, because they are cruel, purposely triggered me multiple times every day until I either got kicked out or left - I left), and I cannot afford anything here.

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2017, 02:56:13 AM »
It's 4 months since this thread was started so shall we chime in with our progress (or lack thereof)?

I'll start:

Less sugar:  um....

Lose weight:  too scared to step on the scales.

More exercise:  Next question?

Money for guttering:  almost there. Quotes arranged for tomorrow and next week.

Trim nails etc.:  Could do better.

Vacate u/npd exH and his Nwife from head:  Who?  (Kidding.  Work in progress. )

Attitude to single men:  sigh. (Saw a funny sign today:  Grow your own dope. Plant a man.)

Tidier/cleaner house:  yeah that.

New clothes:  spent $27 on a shirt and jeans.  Feels good.

Playing flute and performing:  won a talent quest. Inspired.

Anyone else feel like updating us?

AOD


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Tootsie Roll

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #23 on: April 12, 2017, 10:03:26 PM »
-Transition HEALTHY into this No Contact situation.
-Finish this Chemistry class, hopefully with a B.
-Take the next Chemistry class over the summer.
Apply to graduate with my Associate Degree in Applied Health Sciences.  (Ya, only 110 credits, took me a long time to figure out what I was going to do when I grew up [I'm only 46, you can laugh, I've learned to])
-Take Microbiology in the fall.
-Take Mathematics for Pharmacology in the fall as well.
Apply for RN program.
-Continue for the next umpteen years classes towards my Registered Health Informatics Technology degree.
Update:
-Nope, looks like a C in Chemistry this semester.
-Nope, next Chemistry class not offered in the summer.
-So, nope, can't take Microbiology until January 2018.
-Yes, can take Mathematics for Pharmacology this summer.
-Nope, won't be able to apply for the RN program when I wanted to. 

...feeling like a failure...
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own future.  To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #24 on: April 13, 2017, 05:29:08 AM »
Failure?  Failure???!!

It sounds like most of it is out of your control.  You can't do those subjects at the time you wanted to because they're unavailable at those times.  You'll probably find after you manage to complete them that they were available at the perfect time for you.

And your Chemistry result. Be proud that you did your best under the circumstances.

I don't even know what chemistry is, let alone Applied Health Sciences and Microbiology.

All I can do is tootle a bit on my flootle.

Keep going.  You are not a failure.

AOD

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Tootsie Roll

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #25 on: April 13, 2017, 10:58:25 PM »
Failure?  Failure???!!

It sounds like most of it is out of your control.  You can't do those subjects at the time you wanted to because they're unavailable at those times.  You'll probably find after you manage to complete them that they were available at the perfect time for you.

And your Chemistry result. Be proud that you did your best under the circumstances.

I don't even know what chemistry is, let alone Applied Health Sciences and Microbiology.

All I can do is tootle a bit on my flootle.

Keep going.  You are not a failure.

AOD
I know this is going to sound petty, but, it really is chemistry common sense - I forgot how to count the valence electrons for the P-Shell elements...  on the bonding exam.  I had told the teacher not to have anyone sit next to me...  I get such anxiety when someone is in my personal space, and we only have 50 minutes for each exam...  and, I didn't do very good on the prior exam...  And, I emailed my doctor and therapist about a week ago to complete disability forms so I can take exams outside of the classroom, without the strict time limit, in a personal cubicle...  but, of course, neither has responded.  And...  my depression is bad right now...  and I'm on this perpetual depression loop...  and, I am sick of trying and never getting ahead and something always comes up to, yet again, cause another delay...  and I just want everything to stop for a while.  Seriously, 46 years old, 110 college credits, and no Associates Degree.  Taken a class every semester since 2006 (except 2), even in the summer, and never get anywhere.  Now I'm being told since it has been so long since I took Human Anatomy and Human Physiology (more than 5 years), I may have to retake them...  what, when I'm 55 I'll finally get into the RN program?  There is usually a 4 year wait list - even after finishing the pre-requisites.  I feel like I'm using my husband (although he makes really good money, and I just gave him $100,000. to pay off our house), he pays for everything.  I frickin' get an allowance - how embarrassing is that!  I do everything around the house since he pays all the bills - mow the lawn, all yard work, painted the fence and trim, all the house work, cooking (which, luckily he really doesn't care if I do or not), laundry, feeding the puppies, shampooing the carpet, etc.  Then the lawnmower bagger isn't staying on, and I hate getting calluses when I rake...  and why do weeds ALWAYS have to come back?  Can't they just stay dead?  And, I have short term memory issues, so, I have to study really really hard to get all school stuff in long term status to just survive any college class...  I have 2 hours of tutoring and 2 hours of supplementary instruction every week (sometimes more if I can manage it), and then I make a stupid valence electron mistake.  I studied over 15 hours for that exam, and made a mistake...  a mistake like when you hit the first domino, and all the other domino's fall because that is the way chemistry is.  An early mistake ensures all the next steps will have wrong outcomes.  And, I'm thinking my 20 mg Lexapro isn't enough anymore, that it is loosing it's effectiveness because I have been on it for about 16 years...  and, they don't make any higher dosage of Lexapro...  and my doctor and therapist are not responding to my emails...  (see the circular junk here), and the screen door company never responded to set up an appointment to get the two screen doors installed, and the other door frame repaired...  and I can't seem to get a hold of the local hair salon to treat myself to a color and cut... 

And, I'm sick of trying.  And, needed to vent.  Whew...  that's a lot of writing up there...   Oh ya, and my essay on Phossy Jaw has to be written yet. 
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own future.  To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #26 on: April 14, 2017, 12:54:40 AM »
Phew!  Reading your text has made me exhausted, Tootsie Roll!   So I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

Can I suggest you first of all start the ball rolling on sorting out your medication.  Then go get that special treatment at the salon - or a different salon if need be.

Then perhaps reassess the goals.  Are you setting the bar a little too high for the circumstances you're in?

I was just talking to my sister. Her kids (my amazing,  fabulous, incredible nephew and niece. I love them to bits.) are 21 and 19 respectively.

Nephew is doing honors and trying to decide whether or not to do masters then phd. Or go straight to phd. And does he do the phd in our country or overseas? (Cambridge is a very strong possibility apparently.) But he also wants to sit the exam that would get him into law...

His sister (my niece) is a polymath. (Big word which I think is the term used for someone who is interesred in and good at everything.)

 She's studying science with a view to neuroscience. But she's a fabulous violinist. (Played with our country's best Symphony orchestra a year or so ago.)  And she's an elite athlete, representing our country in various competitions. (And winning!)

She's just been invited to trials for the world championships in another country. (You have to be invited apparently.  You can't just try out.)

But this week she is in bed feeling very miserable. 

She couldn't train last week because of severe pain. She's had a battery of tests but nothing is showing up. They think (hope) it may be a stress fracture in the ribs.  She's banned from training for 3 weeks which means she will probably miss the world championship trials.

Apart from being a rediculously proud Auntie, I say all of this for two reasons.

Choices can be stressful.  I'm glad I'm not clever or intelligent.   The choices that would otherwise be available to me would be too stressful.  Perhaps that's what's happening a little with you, Tootsie Roll?

Secondly,  despite our best laid plans and desires, many things are simply out of our control and we need to learn to roll with it.

Actually, we all already know these things.  So I'll retract my last few paragraphs and just say...

Aren't my nephew and niece amazing?!?

All the best, Tootsie Roll. I hope things settle for you soon.


AOD


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Tootsie Roll

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #27 on: April 14, 2017, 10:36:42 AM »
Your communication style is absolutely amazing AOD!!!!!  Totally makes me laugh.  Yes, your nephew and niece are absolutely amazing!  It is a beautiful thing to see those who are gifted use their gifts. 

Things are settling down.  Today is the first day of spring break.  Today - write my Phossy Jaw essay and make an appointment with the doctor's office.  Try and fix the lawn mower baggy thing, make an appointment to get my hair done, if lawn mower fixes - mow the lawn!  Poor puppies, the grass is touching their bellies.  Email a whole bunch of screen door places hoping one will get back to me. 

Have fun watching your niece and nephew mature and grow.  It will be a fascinating journey.  Thanks AOD.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own future.  To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #28 on: April 20, 2017, 08:56:11 AM »
So, Tootsie Roll.

Phossie Jaw essay, lawn mower baggy thing, doctor's appointment, hair makeover and dog belly tickling grass.

How has it all gone?

AOD

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Tootsie Roll

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #29 on: April 22, 2017, 11:36:48 AM »
So, Tootsie Roll.

Phossie Jaw essay, lawn mower baggy thing, doctor's appointment, hair makeover and dog belly tickling grass.

How has it all gone?

AOD
-Phossy Jaw essay - done!  Turned out really good. 
-Lawn mower baggy thing - done!  Essentially my hubby pulled on the metal bar, and POOF works perfect.
-Doctor Appointment - scheduled (still 2 weeks out though).
-Hair makeover - done!  I am now a sexy red/ copper head!  Looks sooooooo good!  Also had my eyebrows done!
-Belly tickling on puppy grass - cut!  Even hand sawed down the tree stump. 

I even spoiled myself 1 day.  Drove down, about an hour and a half, and drooled over 4 different motor homes at Camping World.  Stopped at Cinnabon on the way back.  Le happy bliss taste buds. 

Still haven't found a handyman for screen door and door repair work.  I keep emailing these companies and individuals, and no one responds!  Nor have I shampooed the carpeting yet.  As well as the back shower is only partially scrubbed.  And, spring break is over.  Did not finish my to-do list.  Still feeling okay with what is done.

Thanks for asking!!!!!!!!!
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own future.  To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

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lifeline

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #30 on: April 27, 2017, 01:15:12 PM »
Goal: Make friends!!!
"Only I can change my life.  No one can do it for me."
-Carol Burnette

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Tootsie Roll

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #31 on: June 04, 2017, 12:38:30 AM »
-Transition HEALTHY into this No Contact situation.
-Finish this Chemistry class, hopefully with a B.
-Take the next Chemistry class over the summer.
Apply to graduate with my Associate Degree in Applied Health Sciences.  (Ya, only 110 credits, took me a long time to figure out what I was going to do when I grew up [I'm only 46, you can laugh, I've learned to])
-Take Microbiology in the fall.
-Take Mathematics for Pharmacology in the fall as well.
Apply for RN program.
-Continue for the next umpteen years classes towards my Registered Health Informatics Technology degree.
Update:
-Nope, looks like a C in Chemistry this semester.
-Nope, next Chemistry class not offered in the summer.
-So, nope, can't take Microbiology until January 2018.
-Yes, can take Mathematics for Pharmacology this summer.
-Nope, won't be able to apply for the RN program when I wanted to. 

...feeling like a failure...
Just an update - A in Chemistry!  Actually a 4.0 GPA for the semester!  Taking Mathematics for Pharmacology this summer.  I have a third job interview coming up in 2 days for an awesome opportunity.  And, another interview on June 14th for a different awesome opportunity.  Taking Chemistry 2B in the fall (it's mostly online with only 3 hours of lab per week).  Weird, this really is not a great time for me to start a job, so, I have not really cared about kissing a$$ in the interviews, and have actually pointed out how I'm deficient in meeting the job description.  Guess it works! 

Oh - discovered the airbnb home tab.  Wow - just innumerable home tours in every country.  It's so peaceful. 
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own future.  To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

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Associate of Daniel

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #32 on: June 04, 2017, 06:45:40 AM »
WELL. DONE. YOU., Tootsie Roll.

See? You're not a failure.

I've not anything to report on my progress but my niece is back in training and seems ok. She's aiming for the second trial period for the world championships. I'm seeing my sister this week so I'll catch up with the details then.

I've started walking again. But sugary/fatty temptations are too strong and the weight is piling on. Heart disease is in the family so I really should be more disciplined.

All the best with the interviews. You're on a roll, Tootsie! (Sorry. Couldn't resist the pun.)

AOD

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Tootsie Roll

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #33 on: June 07, 2017, 03:17:17 PM »
WELL. DONE. YOU., Tootsie Roll.

See? You're not a failure.

I've not anything to report on my progress but my niece is back in training and seems ok. She's aiming for the second trial period for the world championships. I'm seeing my sister this week so I'll catch up with the details then.

I've started walking again. But sugary/fatty temptations are too strong and the weight is piling on. Heart disease is in the family so I really should be more disciplined.

All the best with the interviews. You're on a roll, Tootsie! (Sorry. Couldn't resist the pun.)

AOD
Ya, I just had chocolate chip cookies for lunch...  And, I quit walking.  I refuse to weigh myself though!  Hahahahahaha. 

World Championships - sooooooo cool!
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own future.  To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

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sparrow

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #34 on: June 11, 2017, 11:32:00 AM »
My goals for the year are to keep getting through semesters, practice better self-care, spend as much quality time with my son as possible, and grow closer to God.

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tommom

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #35 on: July 05, 2017, 12:19:18 PM »
Did I really start this thread?

Since some of us are updating, here are mine:

I have a PDh who is now going through a transplant. (Not planned for back in January, so it didn't influence my list - and no, I don't mean something in the garden, I mean his body. Whew! I thought I was caretaking before. I really am about out of my mind. I am fighting more and more with him, mostly about his not doing what he is supposed to be doing to take care of himself. Yes, that means that  I am fighting for MY boundaries, big time.

My weight loss? Well, I haven't gained back any of the weight I lost last year. In my current circumstances, I consider that and ENORMOUS win! YEA!!!!!!

The studio I am trying to build is on hold right now, since I have taken over my H's business and am running it until he is ready to take it back (which might be never, making it my business...hmmmm, maybe not a loss). As soon as I can let go of a few bucks I am investing it in the studio I'm dreaming about. Right now just getting eight hours of sleep a night is a really big deal for me. Self-care has to be high on my priority list daily.

LIfting weights has had to go on the back burner for now (I DO have five months more of 2017). And that is a dream I am NOT giving up.

I have had to really re-arrange priorities, but I am proud of how I am handling things.

I also have suffered an injury to my back (it was pure stupidity on my part and why the weights had to go on that back burner) and it has made things a great deal more difficult, BUT, you know what they say...anything that doesn't kill you, right? I ain't dead yet!!!!

"It is not my job to fix other people; everyone is on their own journey."

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helen55

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #36 on: August 28, 2017, 05:05:23 AM »
Learn everything I can, using books, the Internet, people, and any other resources I can find.

Travel. Experience different cultures. Maybe start learning a new language

Get a degree. Become a master of my trade.

Find a place I like - a place I where feel at home, and build a house there. Something not too big, with lots of wide open spaces and windows.

Fix up an old car.

Finally, and most importantly, find some people who I can truly connect with.

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Associate of Daniel

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #37 on: November 29, 2017, 08:09:27 AM »
It's been nearly a year, Folks. How are we all doing?

Me:  sugar/fat intake :whistling:

Walking:  reasonably regular

Weight:  if I close my eyes it might disappear

Nails: usual

Guttering:  replaced  :fireworks:

New clothes:  just spent half my annual budget on 2 items  :blink:  but look and feel good in them.

Headspace:  clearing more each day.  Comes in waves.

Attitude to men: greatly improved.  Still looking for a man though.

Tidier/cleaner house:  I need to invite people around more often to make me do it.

Flute:  just did some busking last weekend and am arranging a soirée for a couple of weeks' time.  Loving it.

Anyone care to update?

AOD

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Tootsie Roll

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #38 on: December 06, 2017, 08:37:49 PM »
Just a quick update.  Finishing Organic Chemistry; the final is next week.  Going into the final with a 98.11 grade - so, feeling pretty good about that.  Looking forward to Microbiology next semester as well as CNA class.  Hey, if nothing else, I can be a CNA.  Not really what I want to do for a living, but, at least there is employment opportunities.

Getting really hooked on politics.  But, that is one of those subjects that should never be discussed. 

Still maintaining No Contact with my parents and Nazi-brother.  I'm at 10 months now.  Pretty easy.  Helps that they have never tried reaching out to me, so I don't have to be prepared for unnecessary stress.

A Chihuahua puppy walked into our home about a month ago.  Now I have 3 Chi's.  This little guy is just 15 weeks ago and cuter than all get out.  We tried to find him a home, but, in California, well, Chihuahua are a penny a dozen.  Literally, leave your front door open and eventually you will get one...  then two...  He is full of energy which caught my husband and I on the not so good side, but all of us have adapted.

So, life is going pretty good.  Oh - I finally decided to apply for Phi Theta Kappa (means you're smart).  Got accepted and that feels good. 

My gray hair is having happy times since I haven't colored it in over 5 months.  So, showing my age and that is okay.

Next!!!
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.  To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own future.  To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

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Re: Goals for your new year..... what are your goals for 2017?
« Reply #39 on: December 08, 2017, 01:28:10 AM »
I'll summarise all the paragraphs I don't understand,  Tootsie, by saying "good on you!".  You're amazing.

Chihuahuas:  sorry. Not a fan. But I admire you for taking in a stray.

Now the bit I do understand:  Grey hair.

When Is old enough to go grey?  I've been going grey since I was 19. Nearly 30 years later I'm well and truly tired of  dyeing my hair.  But I look younger than I am. And I still get pimples!!!!!!!  Gah!

AOD