He took my daughter away from me Part 2

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mdana

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2017, 12:19:27 AM »
Good to hear redfish!

Everything ...isn't working against you, actually.  Some things are working in your favor...it's a process.

I am happy to read about your progress, and that you continue the work of recovery and self-improvement both for yourself and your beautiful daughter.
It's never an easy road, but it's the best journey you will ever travel.  Reminds me of the lovely poem by Mary Oliver, "The Journey". Here it is:

Poetry
By
Mary Oliver
The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.



Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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redfish

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2017, 07:00:36 AM »
Mdana- that's a beautiful poem, thank you!

It does at times feel like everything is working against me. I have the sneaky feeling some of Ex's friends actually know the truth though. I ran into one at work and the guy looked at me with some intense sympathy and then squeezed me with a hug. So that was reassuring. The smart campaign and gaslighting has me still occasionally doubting myself- as in is the problem really me??? But I get stronger every day. Well some days no progress is made at all and I cry off and on several times during the day. But most days are productive.
If Cinderella went back to pick up her shoe she never would've become a princess

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mdana

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #17 on: January 17, 2017, 09:34:36 PM »
I hear you ...

It takes a long time to recover from emotional trauma/abuse.  The longer you stay away from it ... the more clarity you will get.  NC is so necessary, because its repeated contact that draws us back into the 'fog'...we get confused, we begin to doubt ourselves, we aren't sure what we heard...

It's ok to cry ...it's good, you probably have allot to grieve!

XOXO
M
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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redfish

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #18 on: February 22, 2017, 06:32:59 PM »
An update:

I talked to Court Family Services today. The case manager told me that when I get to court March 8th me, my Ex, and Ex's lawyer will be meeting in the office and the info court requested from my therapists, the program I went to, etc, will be read out loud. After that, the case mgr will try to get us to come to an agreement and then go before the judge. If we don't come to an agreement then The case mgr will read the documents in the courtroom before the judge.
I'm hoping it comes to that- read before the judge, and I'm pretty certain that's what will happen.
Family Services only informs the judge of the contents of the documents they collected if an agreement is not reached prior to entering the courtroom. Otherwise the judge doesn't know what's in them.
So I'm going to have to be calm cool collected with clarity and confidence in the courtroom. (Wow that's alot of C's lol). I have to be fearless and walk tall.
So that's where everything is at! Off course my Ex is still being as difficult as possible, trying to interfere, and lying to whomever he can. And still smelling like beer and other alcohol when my daughter gets brought back to him after visitation. So yup....nothing new there.
If Cinderella went back to pick up her shoe she never would've become a princess

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Whiteheron

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #19 on: February 22, 2017, 07:20:48 PM »
 :hug:
Hugs and good luck to you!

Be sure to document each time he stinks of alcohol when he has your daughter (sorry, can't remember if you are keeping a record).
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

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redfish

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #20 on: February 24, 2017, 09:10:02 PM »
:hug:
Hugs and good luck to you!

Be sure to document each time he stinks of alcohol when he has your daughter (sorry, can't remember if you are keeping a record).
Thank you and I am. I hope it helps in court!
If Cinderella went back to pick up her shoe she never would've become a princess

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mdana

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #21 on: February 25, 2017, 03:27:55 PM »
I'll be sending you lots of love and healing energy ... between now and March 8th!

Such a stressful time ..I know. Take good care of yourself !

XOXOX
M
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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redfish

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Re: He took my daughter away from me Part 2
« Reply #22 on: February 28, 2017, 08:38:23 AM »
I'll be sending you lots of love and healing energy ... between now and March 8th!

Such a stressful time ..I know. Take good care of yourself !

XOXOX
M
Thank you, I'm trying! Despite trying to take good care of myself I'm constantly EXHAUSTED. I've never been this tired in my life.
I'm trying to get the last of my 'ducks in a row' in preparation for court. So no rest for the weary lol. But I have a great support system- in real life and here <3
If Cinderella went back to pick up her shoe she never would've become a princess