Why mother do you ignore everything about me

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blacksheep7

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Re: Why mother do you ignore everything about me
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2017, 11:34:11 AM »
Hi Countrygirlbetsy  I can relate to anger.  I  had it built up inside and when it came out with NM, last spring it wasn't pretty. I told her everything that was on my mind.  At first, I felt guilt but when I read that  anger is just a sign that we are being treated unfairly, the guilt left me.   For me, nm was an enabler, growing up, living in my enraging nf shadow.   When he died, she expected me to be her caretaker, friend, confidant and entertain her.  I went nc for 3 yrs because my anger was Very Very strong like I had with NF in my twenties.  We reunited but every time some situation did not suit her, she emotionally blackmailed, her favorite weapon.  She enjoyed provoking me with her sarcasm.  I had to go vvlc/nc because my anger was eating me up, just like the first time I went nc.   I won't put up with that any longer.  Knowing myself, my health is more important and is necessary for my own family.  My dh had to put up with all of this chaos.   I am not ready to see her and I don't feel much for her anyway.  They push us away.  NM doesn't even bother to call which is A OK with me.  She's got other kids and I know she treats them in a certain way the same with her sarcastic remarks when she is not getting attention or regular phone calls as she would like.  Wish you well.  Take care hugs
I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep are not as white as they try to appear.

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Sunshine days

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Re: Why mother do you ignore everything about me
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2017, 03:11:55 PM »
Black sheep, we don't exist anyway, we wear a cloak of invisibility , we are unimportant to them. Good luck with expressing your anger . X

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blacksheep7

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Re: Why mother do you ignore everything about me
« Reply #22 on: January 11, 2017, 11:50:31 AM »
Hi Sunshinedays  My anger has diminished greatly.  Darn  right we don't exist for them anymore.  We are put away on a shelf or discarded as damaged goods.  How can we feel for someone, especially from our mother.  I do not need her approval anymore to feel good about myself.  I am building my self estime back that I had lost in the last year, once again.  I will not let her bring me down anymore.  x
I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep are not as white as they try to appear.

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Sunshine days

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Re: Why mother do you ignore everything about me
« Reply #23 on: January 11, 2017, 03:34:42 PM »
Hi Sunshinedays  My anger has diminished greatly.  Darn  right we don't exist for them anymore.  We are put away on a shelf or discarded as damaged goods.  How can we feel for someone, especially from our mother.  I do not need her approval anymore to feel good about myself.  I am building my self estime back that I had lost in the last year, once again.  I will not let her bring me down anymore.  x

I didn't have the anger like them and the negative emotions , it got worse when my narc aged shes vile at the moment bitter and full of hate. I had always been her caregiver but everyone else took over (money) and my role was gone and I started to see them all in a new light but I still wasn't angry and aggressive lke them, as she got worst they seemed to crack and tried to calm her but it was my job the calming and dumping ground and gc wanted and told me to get back there but I wasn't go back to the abusive chair while he sat in the comfy chair , what a self seeking muppet . The whole point of me going no contact in the first place was to get him of his comfy chair and see the narc for what she is a bully and he can't go back to the other place and that's what made gc go mad (crazy) . It's great that you don't need her approval no more that's what we wanted , only normal mums give it out. Yes I think we have always been discarded just that we hadn't noticed it and when we do they call us crazy in the end so they can hide their bad behaviour.