"Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas

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sherby2k

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"Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas
« on: January 11, 2017, 11:26:40 PM »
Full Title: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
Author: Shannon Thomas
MAST Publishing House (August 30, 2016)

I read this book all the way through very fast, and I plan to go back and re-read and take notes. I haven't read a wide variety of books on the subject of abuse, but I feel as though this book captured one facet of abusive behavior in a way that I haven't seen captured elsewhere - the insidious, destructive, and usually hidden nature of psychological abuse (she focuses on sociopaths and psychopaths, but I found some commonalities with BPD and NPD in there too). I found it very validating! Early on in my journey I might have been uncomfortable with the idea that psychological abusers know exactly what they're doing (as opposed to just being sick or unaware), but the author's explanation is hard to deny - it sounds like truth to me now. The author pulls examples from all kinds of relationships - parents, spouses, co-workers, even church leaders, which expanded my understanding of the nature of abusive people in different contexts. She also knows on a very personal level what it is to experience this kind of abuse, which I feel makes her book very approachable.

Also I appreciated reading about the different stages of healing - I realized how far I've come, and the many times when I had to revisit the various stages to continue/expand the cycle of healing. 
« Last Edit: November 01, 2017, 10:59:03 AM by Spring Butterfly »

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moglow

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Re: Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2017, 10:49:31 PM »
Thank you, Sherby!  This is one subject that's too easily overlooked.  I'll add this one to my own list as well.
“Nothing exposes our true self more than how we treat each other in the home.”  ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

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healingforward

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Re: "Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2018, 03:20:58 AM »
I’m just about to finish the Audible version of this book and wow, did I take a lot of notes! Like Sherby, I was struck by the author’s assertion that NPDs (at least on some level) are aware of the manipulativeness and toxicity of their behavior, and therefore have an ethical responsibility to their actions — and that, very importantly, it is not the job of victims to continue to “feed” NPDs by misplaced or excessive compassion.

The author sums up the empath-narcissism conundrum beautifully: “If we have a high level of emotional capacity, it predisposes us to stay in abusive environments longer. That is not a great thing. On the other hand, a high level of emotional capacity helps survivors heal and truly recover. Our own strengths can be double-edged swords when dealing with abusive individuals.“ - Shannon Thomas

A wonderful read that is very healing- and forward-focused for survivors of PD abuse.

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Adria

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Re: "Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2018, 12:50:52 PM »
Thank you. I can't wait to read this. :yes:

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Summer Sun

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Re: "Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2018, 02:48:34 PM »
Thanks for sharing, I plan on ordering it!
"The opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Indifference" - Elie Wiesel

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Faith123

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Re: "Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2018, 05:51:38 AM »
I agree, this book was extremely reassuring to me right after my divorce. It's so hard to not second guess yourself and question if all of the games and manipulation was just a figment of your imagination but this book really helped me to feel confident in the diagnosis of my ex with narcissism and hold strong to my decision. 

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practical

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Re: "Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2018, 10:48:47 PM »
This was for me a great refresher, summary, validation and way to look back at three years of OOTF journey. I did learn new things because of the focus on psychological abuse, for example that a hoover can also be the creation of chaos rather than nice behavior and it fit F to a T. The book is focused on NPD, socio/psychopath, I'm sure there is overlap to other PDs as they share traits and psychological abuse is part of all of them. I haven't worked through the "Personal Reflections Journal", it looks very interesting and it is going to be my next step.

Would recommend it wherever you are on your journey.
“If I’m not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when I’m only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when?” (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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LSK1999

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Re: "Healing from Hidden Abuse" by Shannon Thomas
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2018, 12:35:14 AM »
Bless you for sharing this book....I have found no reading lately that has been even remotely helpful....the first chapter of this book and I'm like finally!! Someone that really gets this....God Bless all