I have found that alot of us here have had a high tolerance for abuse from the PD's in our lives. A lot of us are also very empathetic, and so we have forgiven and went back hoping that someday they would change and finally see us as real people with a heart and feelings and as a separate person deserving of love and respect but we all have a limit. Each person knows their limit. So, to those that have went no contact and walked away, please tell me, what was your limit?
With my ex NPDBF I was so empathetic and forgiving, I eventually turned myself into a doormat. We were together for 12 years. I knew I wanted out for the last 3 years we were together.I didn't leave because he had lost his job and had begun the long, arduous process of applying for disability. He refused to work as the pay scale wasn't what he deserved to make. I was his only source of income. After his D and B passed away, the rest of his family started shutting him out. I felt so sorry for him.After four years of unemployment, constant complaining about what HE was going through, and the accusations that I wasn't supportive enough, I was tired. Combine that with the verbal and financial abuse which began soon after we met, the camel's legs were ready to give out.The last and final straw was when he began verbally abusing my adult daughters (not his). He refused to let my oldest stay with us when she had nowhere else to go. When she came over, they started arguing and he spit in her face.I told him to his face that was the last straw. I left 2 months after that. My empathy for him vanished and everything he had done and said to me came rushing in. It was like someone took my blinders off. All in that one moment.Sorry, I didn't mean to hog your thread. Once I started this story I couldn't stop!