Hi there

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grlpwr

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Hi there
« on: February 17, 2017, 11:25:27 AM »
Signed up a few days ago.  I have been living with my OCPD boyfriend for almost 23 years.  His OCPD has been getting worse for the past 10 years.  I have learned a lot on another web site, but it was taken over by OCPD people that want control, so Im here now to find out why I am still with him......I will provide back details eventually...for now just a lot of reading here.  Thanx all!   :wave:

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coyote

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2017, 12:58:30 PM »
grlpwr,
Welcome to OOTF. You have found a very supportive and understanding community. The Toolbox is a great place to start reading. You may want to check out the Chosen Relationships or the Committed to Working On It. boards. You will find a lot of people with similar stories. There are a variety of boards though and you can feel free to post wherever is best for you. Once again welcome.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?

Capt. Jack Sparrow

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Palepinkpeony

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2017, 02:01:59 PM »
Signed up a few days ago.  I have been living with my OCPD boyfriend for almost 23 years.  His OCPD has been getting worse for the past 10 years.  I have learned a lot on another web site, but it was taken over by OCPD people that want control, so Im here now to find out why I am still with him......I will provide back details eventually...for now just a lot of reading here.  Thanx all!   :wave:

I Agree with everything Coyote says!
This is a very warm and safe place. I hope you will feel safe and supported here also.  Definitely go through the 'toolbox'. It is so helpful and also helps you to be able to communicate on the boards better

I feel for you having been suffering as a caregiver for so many years.  I cannot imagine.  OCPD sounds very tough.  I also couldn't help, but find it funny/ironic that your previous board was overtaken by controlling OCPD's!! 
(((hugs to you)))

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Latchkey

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2017, 02:42:24 PM »
Hi grlpwr,

Welcome to OOTF. Looking forward to hearing more of your story as you are ready. It's also good to try to get support in real life with a therapist who understands what is going on.
23 years is a long time so I am sure you have some things that are working for you that maybe you can share with others here. When did you realize he had OCPD?

Latchkey
Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.
-Mother Jones
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There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
-Maya Angelou
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When we have the courage to do what we need to do, we unleash mighty forces that come to our aid.

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grlpwr

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2017, 12:49:21 PM »
Thank you all....I just ended the relationship last night.  I couldn't take anymore invalidation.....having a hell of a time maintaining at work today....I knew he wouldn't fight for me, cause my feelings are wrong ya know....but we are stuck in the same house together until A) we sell and split funds or B) he cashes me out.....I need some good thoughts...thanx all.....

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coyote

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2017, 01:04:39 PM »
grlpwr,
You have shown a lot of courage by just posting here and sharing your story. You are stronger than you think. You have put in your dues and it seems it is time for him to make some better choices. It is hard to be stuck in the same house and living separated. Do you have family or friends you could stay with? I know that sucks too but at least you don't have to see him everyday. Anyway just remember we are here for you.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?

Capt. Jack Sparrow

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lifeline

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2017, 01:26:00 PM »
Thank you all....I just ended the relationship last night.  I couldn't take anymore invalidation.....having a hell of a time maintaining at work today....I knew he wouldn't fight for me, cause my feelings are wrong ya know....but we are stuck in the same house together until A) we sell and split funds or B) he cashes me out.....I need some good thoughts...thanx all.....

Welcome to OOTF.  Your name says it all you know.  Girl Power.  Channel it.  Use it.  Let it fuel your fire to maintain resolve.

You're at work, which means you have a job, and you care about your job, clearly.  Those are good things.  You have, as I can only imagine, dealt with so so much in the past.  Think of it like this:  All the nonsense you have put up with from him was for one purpose; to make you strong enough to handle today, tomorrow, and the weeks to come.

You can do this, and we are here for you.  :grouphug:

Warmest welcome grlpwr.
"Only I can change my life.  No one can do it for me."
-Carol Burnette

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coyote

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Re: Hi there
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2017, 01:33:19 PM »
grlpwr,
You might want to post in Separating and Divorcing board. Your posts will get more views there and you will find others with similar situations. Just an idea
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?

Capt. Jack Sparrow