Name calling, "safe places," and venting

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gary

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Name calling, "safe places," and venting
« on: March 14, 2017, 11:46:44 AM »
Was wanting to reply to the post: "Name calling, "safe places," and venting " in Questions about the board and saw a regular member respond but did not see a function to respond there so doing it here.


Just my 36 cents worth.

This “ word rabbit ” of name calling has been chased around the forum sense it’s conception and will always be a rabbit on the run.

One main reason is because not everyone reads the guidelines. There are millions of bicycles assembled around the world without reading the instructions…especially by men. As long as I have been involved in this forum I have never read the guidelines and haven’t the foggiest idea what’s in them.

I like I suspect most members rely on their common sense to behave in a respectable fashion…(except when they may have just experienced one of the worst days of their lives.)

There has been a (model) for this all over the world in how to govern masses of people…Laws in different levels of severity. Felons to Misdemeanors.

One could list a OOTF dictionary of absolute words that reach felony status. But who’s moral judgement would that rest on and even should it. Even if there were one would have to read every post in order to police it. Then there would be the problem of one person getting a warning after they have seen several others do the same thing. The forum is full of name calling that has never been seen by mods or admins.

To me what makes sense to people is the difference between a Law (rule) and a guideline. To most Rules mean no wiggle room..guidelines are strong suggestions. We don’t see (guideline speed limit signs.)

My other belief is the most power is in discretion to understand when a violation may just be because a person had a really really crap day and reacted.  It’s easy to just follow black and white consequences for braking a rule. It takes much more to understand maybe why it was.

What seems simple to me is instead of chasing this rabbit every year is to just put a OOTF disclaimer that they do not condone name calling and hope that any professional mental heath professional even reads it.

That instead of consequences of a particular word that there is one law (rule) that fits all. Like a certain number of official “Warnings” in a given time and blah blah blah will happen regardless if it was a word violation or any other rule violation. Rather than try and micro manage words.

This rabbit will never be trapped totally by having this conversation about it every year and again not all will even see it.

There was a post last week where the word Evil was used. The poster was not saying that a person with a mental illness was evil. But if they had to me that would be worse than any cuss word word that could put in a dictionary or word like “mom ster” could be....(the word I was trying to type starting with M must be blocked because it wouldn't accept the spelling. So I guess that's an option as well. ;)

Last thing is I don’t think that what ever assumption of what it may do to the PD or what it may cause to their agenda is of any consequence at all. The forum is for the benefit of the members (nons) and not the well being of the people that brought us here. Not that harm is wished on them but that’s their own problem to deal with.

Ok that was 38 cents worth from one who's done chasing rabbits.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2017, 12:17:56 PM by gary »
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moglow

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Re: Name calling, "safe places," and venting
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2017, 01:09:13 PM »
Quote from: Gary
That instead of consequences of a particular word that there is one law (rule) that fits all. Like a certain number of official “Warnings” in a given time and blah blah blah will happen regardless if it was a word violation or any other rule violation. Rather than try and micro manage words.

Thankfully, we have exactly that - outlined in the guidelines you mentioned. Specifically:

Quote
Warning System

Maintaining a welcoming, supportive and undistracted environment for our members to learn about personality disorders is a priority at Out of the FOG. In order to achieve this, posts which fall outside of the posting guidelines will be edited or removed by a moderator and the poster will receive a notification by personal message.

Out of the FOG uses an automated warning system to notify members of any actions taken on their posts. If your post is edited or deleted by a moderator or admin, you will receive a Personal Message from the system explaining the action taken.

If you receive a notification that your post was removed or edited, it is not intended as a judgment on your character, it is intended as an explanation of why the post was moderated and how you can post in future within the guidelines.

Warnings are usually given in discrete levels:
0% ("harmless" newbie mistakes & notifications (e.g. new member posting on wrong board, using own real name, etc.)
25% 1st warning of a Guidelines violation
50%  2nd warning - member sees a "Watched" flag under their profile
100% 3rd warning - member sees a "Muted" flag under their profile and receives a 6 day suspension.
Warning levels and the "Watched" and "Muted" flags are not visible to all members, only the receiving member and the moderating/admin team.
All warning levels automatically reduce by 5% each day.
A warn level of 75% or higher will suspend a member's ability to post. Members who continue to post outside the guidelines after multiple warnings will permanently be denied access.

It's not just about words. Slapping a label on something/someone serves no purpose, defines nothing, benefits no one. Until we learn to address behavior and do what we can to change what we can and let the rest go, we're spinning our wheels and going nowhere.

We have to start with ourselves, each of us, every day. That's the one thing in this disordered world we can control.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2017, 01:16:30 PM by moglow »
“Nothing exposes our true self more than how we treat each other in the home.”  ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

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