A letter to your next wife

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AngelInTheMarble

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A letter to your next wife
« on: March 16, 2017, 09:47:18 PM »
Dear chosen one. 
At this point in time, you are just a vague figure, looming on the horizon.  I know you will exist someday, the man you will marry has told me he "doesn't see himself as someone who can live alone".  I agree.  But for different reasons.  I was his emotional punching bag for almost 30 years.  His possession, his doormat, his toy.  I cleaned his house, raised his children, fed him, waited on him, let him always have his way without complaint.  The perfect narcissistic supply.  And each day I died a little more...

But I am gone now, finally emerging from the darkness I had lived in for far too long.  And he is alone.  An he needs to feed...

He needs a new supply.  That is where you will come in.  I imagine you will be a timid soul.  Perhaps wounded from a previous relationship.  Maybe a single mom struggling to get by.  And he will be your savior, a role he feels born to play. 

But I must warn you, the man is no savior, he is the devil in disguise.  He will pretend to care, to really want to help you.  To love you.  But please believe me, it is all a lie.  He only cares about himself.  He hates to be inconvenienced.  He will take everything you have to give and never give in return.  He will point out all of your flaws, you errors, and hold them against you.  He is incapable of love. Of compassion.  Of empathy.  Slowly, slowly you will realize that something is wrong.  That he is never happy.  That the man you thought you married has disappeared.  Wounded one, listen to someone who has been you, that man never existed.  It is all a lie.  He is a narcissist.  He has no real emotions, although he can fake them in public.  Do not be fooled. 

Run lonely lady.  No matter how bad your life may seem right now, you have no idea how bad it will get if you marry this man.  He is a liar, a bully, a hoarder, who lives two lives. The Holy Man Of God, Shining Example to Us All.  And the abuser.   He will never say he is sorry, or even that he has done anything wrong.  He will chip away at you a little each day until one day there will be nothing left of you.  He will kill your soul.

Be smarter than I, get out before it is too late.  Leave him to his miserable life.  You can never make him happy, you will make yourself crazy trying...

I know you won't believe what I have said.  He will tell you that I am angry and bitter and left him for no reason.  I know the truth.  And if you marry him someday you will too...

 I will keep the coffee on.

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Foreignwoman

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Re: A letter to your next wife
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2017, 07:48:04 AM »
Angelinthemarble, good for you that you left and started a new life, free of abuse.

FW

Freedom is never voluntary given by the oppressor, it is demanded by the oppressed.

Martin Luther King, Jr

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HoldingStrong

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Re: A letter to your next wife
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2017, 09:53:27 PM »
Oh I Loved this AngelInTheMarble!!! I just found out a couple days ago that my PDex has a girlfriend!!!
It's been over three yrs since I left. Surprised it took him this long! It made me feel really weird when I heard it and I didn't know quite how to process it  :stars:

I think mostly I just want to scream 'RUN, RUN as fast as you Can!' And everything you've just said in your letter! Mostly it makes me feel like vomiting! I can just imagine she is probably a 'timid' person JUST like I was. Apparently she's a widow but that's all I know.

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Upstream

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Re: A letter to your next wife
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2017, 06:32:56 PM »
Dear Angel in the marble,
I''d be celebrating my 25th anniversay with mine if i hadnt kicked him out a year and a half ago. Every word you wrote rings true for me too. You nailed it. It was so satisfying to read what you have written. So sorry for all the years we spent growing out of our PD. Well- meaning years that just never came to fruition the way they should have. But at least we have grown out of that naive little girl into self aware women. I am sure you really are an Angel in the Marble. It just takes a Michelangelo to see your beauty for what it is.  Thats something our sick PDs just couldnt do.

Hugs,
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