Is there a category in the toolbox for my personal mantra?

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Laura666

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Is there a category in the toolbox for my personal mantra?
« on: March 19, 2017, 07:01:40 PM »
It is: 'Suffer quietly, he does not care.'
I find it helpful at times to calm me down after a traumatic interaction, but I know on paper it sounds stupid...

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SquarePegs80

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Re: Is there a category in the toolbox for my personal mantra?
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2017, 07:07:40 PM »
I believe we ALL feel this way when we interact with any PD and it gets ugly.  :stars: I am so sorry that you even have to do this mantra.  :hug: I guess if it helps you somewhat to say this then do it. I have found detaching emotionally from my PD husband works best, kind of indifferent. We all work on what works best for us but I certainly wish we didn't have to work so hard at it. Take care of yourself.  :bighug:
Discover yourself like a Lotus flower in full bloom even in a muddy pond. Beautiful and Strong!

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nojoy_in_this

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Re: Is there a category in the toolbox for my personal mantra?
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2017, 10:01:55 AM »
You could add a conjunction: "but someone does care" because the people on this website do!

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SquarePegs80

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Re: Is there a category in the toolbox for my personal mantra?
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2017, 04:44:13 AM »
You could add a conjunction: "but someone does care" because the people on this website do!

 :like: So true
Discover yourself like a Lotus flower in full bloom even in a muddy pond. Beautiful and Strong!

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Rubytown

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Re: Is there a category in the toolbox for my personal mantra?
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2017, 12:10:36 AM »
This mantra seems to me more like a realization step and maybe avoiding JADEing? (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. To avoid circular conversations, don't Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain.) 

Perhaps you could modify the mantra over time to a more empowering phrase?  However, I certainly relate to how you feel, we all do here.  And that might be part of where you are in the relationship right now.  Just needing to realize he doesn't care the way you do, in an empathetic way.  Also, it seems like this might be what you were taught at a young age?  Implicitly if not directly told this, I mean.

So sorry you have to suffer because of PD in your life.
"Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding."  Proverbs 3:13