Being genuine means losing a lot of old "friends"

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newlife33

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Being genuine means losing a lot of old "friends"
« on: April 16, 2017, 12:35:40 AM »
This has been one hell of a ride going NC from my family and becoming myself.  One of the hardest things has been interacting and being myself around people who I thought were my friends.....they aren't.  We use to bond on drama, chaos, being immature, being goofy, hating certain things, being lazy, etc. 

Now all those things are gone from my life.....and it's brutally awkward.  Tonight I went out and some people who I know considered themselves good friends of mine were visibly shaken by how I talked to them.  I just couldn't fake it and if something was awkward I cringed, if it was gross I said it and I wasn't afraid to leave a conversation.  They got really drunk and started to kind of act all weird and talk about how we should hang out more and I just sort of fake yawned and said I had to go.

I'm sad and lonely that I have lost two friends who are blatanly lost souls and alcoholics (like I was) but I am also somewhat happy to have escaped that life and am now seeing it for what it is.  I hope they get better and get out of it, but until then I'm not going to force a friendship that isn't there.

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Adria

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Re: Being genuine means losing a lot of old "friends"
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2017, 09:23:59 AM »
Newlife,

I so get it. The NC thing changes everything, almost like a parallel universe. I've been following your posts and you are moving forward with leaps and bounds.  I'm so happy for you, but also understand the challenges.  It is definitely a rollercoaster ride.  Right now, I am in a very lonely phase as well, realizing that my best friend seems to be trying to take my place in my family.  I don't want to lose her friendship too, but I don't know if I have a choice.  I wish you all the best.  Take care.

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Adrianna

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Re: Being genuine means losing a lot of old "friends"
« Reply #2 on: Yesterday at 12:04:32 PM »
Once I came Out of the FOG, I realized how much garbage I had been putting up with. Relationships fizzle. Friendships fade. We see things with a new clarity. I do not want to settle anymore for people or things that do not make me happy.

This is good but it is stressful too. You are growing as a human being and your friends are not. You will find different friends who are on the same path.
Practice an attitude of gratitude.

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coyote

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Re: Being genuine means losing a lot of old "friends"
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 01:34:51 PM »
Nothing is constant but change.
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.

 Wayne Dyer

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?

Capt. Jack Sparrow

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Sunshine days

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Re: Being genuine means losing a lot of old "friends"
« Reply #4 on: Yesterday at 05:39:12 PM »
Sorry to hear of your loss but it needed to go, the dead weight has gone , breathe and feel good that empty space that you need to fill with good things is waiting for you, move on xx