"Secret Family Recipes"

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Menopause Barbie

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"Secret Family Recipes"
« on: April 19, 2017, 01:25:42 PM »
I love to bake and cook for people. I consider potlucks to be a competitive sport. The ultimate compliment to me is when someone asks me for my recipe. It makes me so happy to give it to them and know that I will now be a part of their family's lives, maybe for generations. (Yes, my recipes are THAT good!  :tongue2: ) Anyway, I was baking  a cake for someone today and it occurred to me: all the PDs in my life (Oh, there are soooo many  :-\ ) HATE sharing recipes. Some actually refuse. Several admit to holding back on a key ingredient so the other person can never figure out why her version pales next to the PD's original recipe. I guess this makes sense. PDs do not play well with others and they don't share. Just curious if other people have noticed the "secret family recipe" thing with the PDs in their circles???

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looloo

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2017, 01:44:31 PM »
Haha, YES -- my Ex MIL did this.  She'd be asked for the recipe because it was delicious, and then she'd leave out an ingredient, or not describe the prep method accurately, so the results were never quite right or quite as tasty.   The funny thing was, Ex MIL gleefully admitted to doing this, explaining that HER mother did to her and everyone else as well, so it was kind like a fun little family tradition :unsure: :-\.  At the time, I just accepted it as "all families are kray in some way, right?"  I was thrown a wedding shower where the guests gave me recipes, and my MIL gave me this one.  I assumed that there was something omitted, but since I'd heard her explanation, I decided not to take any offense, so for me personally there was no harm done.  I was married to her son for 9 years, and I never did make that dish anyway.

But she did also give the recipe to my Malignant Nmother, who had grudgingly admitted that it was delicious (she must have been cornered and unable to say anything else, haha).  My mother did try to make it, and discovered that it wasn't right.  My mother was a very experienced, and very good cook, so she knew 100% that she was being f--ked with.  She was really irritated/angry, and she also acted sincerely hurt -- wondering WHY someone would perpetrate such a heinous act on HER (my mother had already cultivated a history of being BEYOND rude with my in laws)?  Don't you love it when PDs decide to have fun with each other?   ;D
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”  Oscar Wilde.

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Aardvark

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2017, 01:56:35 PM »
Better them than us.
"It is better to be careful 100 times than to get killed once."
Mark Twain

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Skippyd

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2017, 11:58:18 PM »
haha... I've always thought it was extremely bizarre when people wouldn't share a recipe.  I just couldn't understand at all what the point of keeping it a secret was.   Now that you mention it, and I know a lot more about PDs, it makes a lot more sense to me!

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Liftedfog

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #4 on: April 21, 2017, 05:52:14 AM »
Holding back sharing a recipe is pure PD control.  Nothing else.  They are so disordered they can't see that when someone asks for a recipe it's absolutely a compliment.  So sad how many beautiful things PDS miss out on and how warped their view is of the world.

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Stepping lightly

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #5 on: April 21, 2017, 09:14:59 AM »
Ha- my SKs' uNPD/BPD mom does this.  DH has told me stories about her family's secret recipe for cheesecake that is supposedly (according to her) out of this world.  She built it up so much when they were dating, that when DH and his family finally tried it...they were like...um...oh..it's ..uh good.  Not terrible, but not the cheesecake she makes it out to be.  She has used to it to actually manipulate the kids, I remember DSS4 at the time and DH missing a father/son event because BM told DSS that if he went...he would miss the ONE time that year to help her make the cheesecake.  She failed to mention, the Father/Son thing would NEVER happen again. 

Little does she know...DH actually has the recipe...but we don't care to use it.....and we choose to let the kids think their mom has something "special".


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clara

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #6 on: April 21, 2017, 09:36:21 AM »
The other behavior is to say of course I'll give you the recipe and then never get around to it no matter how often you ask.  Always yes, of course, then change the subject.  They don't like to share.  They don't like the idea of anyone else possibly stealing their "glory."  They think everyone is out to take advantage of them because that's part of their world view. 

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blacksheep7

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #7 on: April 21, 2017, 09:50:31 AM »
It's ridiculous of course.   I feel honored when someone asks for my recipe.

My first thought, laughing, was  "KFC"  Colonel Sanders not sharing his recipe.  ;D
I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep are not as white as they try to appear.

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Adria

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2017, 01:30:54 PM »
Yup, my PDMIL does this too.  I asked her for her chocolate chip cookie recipe because it was outstanding.  She gave it to me. I tried making them two different times and they were a flop.  I've heard dh's family laughing about doing this to people.  Very rude and expensive to have to throw everything away when it doesn't turn out. :stars:

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Menopause Barbie

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #9 on: April 21, 2017, 02:05:31 PM »
Not to go off topic, Adria, but I have spent my adult life perfecting my chocolate chip cookie recipe.  :ninja: The secret is to use "better for bread" flour, and a little more than called for. I follow the recipe on the Tollhouse morsel bag, using always butter, not margarine, 3 cups (not 2 and 1/4 or whatever it says on the Nestle bag) of the better for bread flour, and UNgreased sheets (to prevent spreading). I also bake at a lower temperature (350 degrees) than called for and increase the time in the oven to 15 minutes or so (I make mine big--I use a small ice cream scoop. Baking time will vary with size). Bake only till the edges just set and are barely golden and let the cookies continue to firm up on the hot sheets out of the oven for 5 minutes or so. These cookies bake up looking so pretty and they are dangerously addictive!  Sorry for the derail but you'll thank me later if you make these!  :udaman:

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forforever

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #10 on: April 21, 2017, 02:29:03 PM »
Not a recipe story, but a cooking one.  My PD husband's toxic NMother is a terrible cook anyway, but my very first holiday meal at her house was Thanksgiving about 28 years ago, and she had just been diagnosed with high blood pressure and told to cut back on salt.  So, she cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal for 12 people without salt.  Not a drop.  Those of you who cook can imagine what that must have tasted like.  No salt canned corn, straight out of the can and heated with no seasoning at all.  Stuffing made with no salt.  Mashed potatoes with no salt.  All because SHE had been told to cut back on salt.  Every time she would step out of the dining room, her kids would all grab for the salt shaker, but no one said a word to her. Not to mention she announced that she heated up exactly one brown and serve roll for each person, and her grown children, all either PD or with significant fleas, ended up fighting over the rolls at the dinner table.  I should have ran then and never turned back.

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Adria

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2017, 08:28:28 AM »
Oh my gosh, Menopause Barbie, Thank you sooooo much!!!  Made some so, so cookies last night.  ::)

Will be making these tonight. Can't wait!!! LOL!!!  I'll let ya know. :woohoo:

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Liftedfog

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2017, 08:21:16 AM »
Thanks menopausebarbie!!!!   I want to make these but first need to find the flour you mentioned. :yourock:

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Adria

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2017, 07:16:34 AM »
MenopauseBarbie,  Dh and I made your cookies yesterday.   :yes:  They are truly the BEST chocolate chip cookies we've ever had, and you are right, very addictive.  Great with a cup of coffee!  My son came over last night, he had his fair share and couldn't stop raving about them.  Thank you again for sharing your recipe.  Nothing else compares! :udaman:

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irkmandu

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Re: "Secret Family Recipes"
« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2017, 08:09:10 AM »
My mom has a recipe for white fudge that she only makes at Christmas time, and she insists that it is a family recipe that she only shares with blood relatives. As far as I know, my mom is not PD... I think this tradition is kinda fun really... but she's happy to share any other recipes she has
“Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson