What can we say?

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Adria

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What can we say?
« on: July 13, 2017, 02:16:42 PM »
When someone is having problems with a child or family member with mental illness, are we allowed to say what kinds of supplements have worked for us?  I'm not sure where the line is.

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Bloomie

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Re: What can we say?
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2017, 05:00:05 PM »
Adria - what a great question. Thanks for asking it! The thing about suggesting something as specific as a supplement is that supplements are not benign in the risk they pose of adverse interactions and/or interference with other medications. We have no way of knowing if what we are suggesting may actually be harmful for the person we are suggesting it to. Does that make sense?

We cannot measure how much our words here impact others and being mindful - as you are being here - of how far to go with if/when/how we share anything is very important and I thank you for your sensitivity.

One of the reasons our guidelines caution us against any kind of advice is that we are only seeing a snapshot of another member's life and cannot know in the reality of another member's life if our advice would actually be harmful to them - even something that has been helpful for us like supplements.

Feel free to share how you have coped using your own good sense - is how I would encourage you. For example, sharing that a good long workout helps dispel negative energy, or a bubble bath or swim, or a talk with a empathetic friend, therapy... the types of things that are personal to you and work for you, and yet pose no risk to another - are all good to share.

Others will most likely be along to give further help, but wanted to thank you for asking!  :)
Bloomie 🌸
"Some people really don't get it, that we matter as much as they do." Moglow
"It takes emotional maturity to maintain decent relationships." Spring Butterfly

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Adria

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Re: What can we say?
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2017, 09:10:23 AM »
Thank you Bloomie, I see what you are saying and will keep what you said in mind.

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Latchkey

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Re: What can we say?
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2017, 12:05:13 PM »
Adria,
Thanks for checking in on this. I have read your story and am familiar somewhat with why you are asking.

So it's ok to say what has worked for you or your PD loved one but it's not ok to specifically recommend a particular supplement, regimen, or drug to another member for themselves or their loved one.

I know that on some forums I have seen parents list all the meds their children are on and talk amongst themselves about this. We don't do that here because we do not give medical advice.

From the Guidelines:

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Giving Advice:

This is a confidential peer support group created by men and women who have experienced personal relationships with a personality disordered relative, friend or partner.  We are not mental health professionals, and don't offer this board as a substitute for professional assistance.  Any advice you receive here should be taken in that context.

Feel free to share how you cope or have coped with various situations - that's the purpose of this forum!  But please avoid making blanket statements like "You *should* do this and that" especially when you don't know the person well.  Another person's situation may be very different from yours.  Often, people need to come to their own conclusions in their own time frame.  Also, please avoid making blanket or derogatory generalizations about mental illness, personality disorders, personality disordered individuals or "Nons" that are unsupported by clinical literature.

Having a personality disordered relative, friend or partner can be difficult, and sometimes other posters may say or do things that you donít approve of.  We are all coming from different stages, situations, and backgrounds.  Please be considerate and non-judgmental about how others live their lives.  If you respond harshly or judgmentally, you will make it harder for others to post for fear of being judged.

You are welcome to ask questions about what you think is going on in the mind of a particular person you are close to. However, broad generalizations about entire groups of people who suffer from personality disorders, such as "they can't help it" or "they have no feelings" are misleading to others. Members who repeatedly post such generalizations are subject to moderation and will be asked to refrain.

« Last Edit: July 14, 2017, 12:06:50 PM by Latchkey »
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Adria

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Re: What can we say?
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2017, 12:42:52 PM »
Okay Latchkey, thank you for clarifying.