Online attack --

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #15 on: August 09, 2017, 04:03:22 PM »
Social media. MEMES.

So. If her current "fling" is not on a  social media platform that i am and she is --she post some love memes. Very deep love.  Are they meant for me or torture?

I can see that as dig if it occured within the honeymoon period.

However it is later in the "relationship" and she is adding back and or making comments to people in my town. 

I guess she could post them on her FB as well and that would be Passive aggressive  dig as well and I can't  see it.

I guess maybe reading too much into it. But our BPD tend to do that.  :stars:

I have hope. 🤔

Now that being said. Here is some bad news --my best friends father has been getting progressively sick over the last few weeks. Last night he took a turn and is in hospice. Not good at all.

My bpd SO has tons of respect and considered him a grandpa of sorts for her kids. I know that the kids will be sad when he passes. Hell,  I was upset when I saw my friends face. I knew things were not good.

As cold as it may sound coming from me. Would my BPd so use that emotion of loss to garner support for any decision and projection to illict favors or attention for her loss.

He is well admired man in my community and his loss will be felt by many. 

Weirdness




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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #16 on: August 09, 2017, 10:13:06 PM »
And he passed. Im so sad. Great man now with his wonderful loving wife. Ill will do my best to support  my friend.

He just texted me. And said this sucks for him  because he just lost his best freind. 

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #17 on: August 10, 2017, 09:45:15 PM »
Never look. Thats all i can say. When your BPD person post a photo farming for compliments from their freinds and she slices your heart with  comments of her freinds. "Of how glowing she is --it must be love. " etc ..  then she says something about he treats her right like she should be treated. ( reminder he tried to kill his wife last July 2016 and tried to do it in front of his kids )
 

I took this family in when they were evicted, a tragedy + crime agaisnt the family promulgated it..

i have provided a stable, secure, loving environment, and provided for them all,  complained occasionally about treatment to me or the kids. Despite that  she was appeared  thankful loving and caring.. she has had multiple surgeries and i was always there for her.

 I have taught them all to fish and pursue activities they enjoy. I have provided them opportunities to expand thier horizons.  I offered to pay for the divorce from her ex. She has been estranged 9 of 11 yrs.. YET i never treated her right, i listened to her complian, held her head when she vomited from  migraines, i dealt with her PD issues and non issues. I gave her a home. I paid for 1/2 her car.  YET never treated her right.

Im beyond belief, i can count in 7 years any arguments on both hands. I have not  raised a hand, acted out, demonstrated any violence,  but sometimes raised my voice in anger,  but usually walked away. 

I am pissed at this moment. Which is exactly what she sought. Why why why why do they do this?????

. Why do they have to keep pushing the barrier .. because if i do what i am thinking as angry as i am.???   I would block her on all my media. And kill her phone permanently. And when she calls or text ---When she splits me white i would say go $@@&$. Find a shelter . You are now on your own. Have a happy life. Never darken my life or steps.

 I should've never looked but I can remember she's fishing for compliments she's fishing for justification she's fishing for a way to stab me in the back ----when is this going to stop ...i dont get alos the family members whom know what she has done comment on her pictures in support of her actions and relationship. Feeding a flame for me to burn on my end. Ughhhh
« Last Edit: August 10, 2017, 10:45:32 PM by Bre71 »

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #18 on: August 12, 2017, 12:19:11 AM »
 It seems the attack for forgetting her birthday has stopped though I never forgot about it .  It seems Thursday and Friday have become silent again no changes in her stuff and the silent treatment  is ongoing since June 21.

 I wonder if some of the stuff is so limited  because  of whether or not her new supply is actually npd  and alcoholic that is he is controlling all of her stuff-- she's not as active on social media as she has been when she's living with me .

 I wonder if he has any control over her because she's the one whom decided to go down there she's one that's in control of her situation and she's manipulated him into letting him be part of his life so who's actually got the control here her or  him ?? questions like this  are coming up to my head .


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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2017, 07:30:52 PM »
Hoovering has begun.. received an email forward from a company to her. confirming cancelation of a service and then email of  "oops uncancel"  a service which i haven't  used in two months. Not direct from company but from her. No explanations.. not a big deal and very strange.

I dont know what to say or do. So im doing nothing. But she broke silent treatment in a way. 


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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #20 on: August 15, 2017, 07:21:30 AM »
So the email- she confirmed to cancel a service -i don't use. The second email is confirmation to cancel (the account was sent to her email and she forwarded it from her account) .

That is just weird and will not get a response from me is this sentence,

"Please change your email on your _____ account. "

1) no
2) i never signed up for it.
3) dont tell me what to do when it is not mine.
4) why is that important

This just a little wierd and humorous as well. Its like she being friendly but mean.

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #21 on: August 25, 2017, 01:08:40 AM »
 Well to good to be true she attacked me again now she's posted on her Facebook page that she is engaged to this guy. I'm not surprised but at the same time --it's like I'm frustrated. I wish it would stop,  because I know that she's going to flip me to white- when I don't know . Because it's the nature of the disorder and I believe that her putting  this engagement post up or status is a way to get me to react so I callher  so that she can have contact with me because she's needing for me to contact her. I have not even responded to a thing. The last time I saw her was the day that I kissed her goodbye and told her have a good trip and then she sends me the nasty text and now I'm going through all this PD hell .  She is really reaching for reactions, I spoke to my aunt and she wonders why I want to put up with her anymore, she wonders why I want to be with somebody who leaves me when I needed them the most in my life and then treats me like crap and she has a very good point .
 I just see this engagement status as a way to hurt me and make me react --Anybody see that I'm wrong in this thinking . Please help.

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Cascade

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #22 on: August 25, 2017, 01:03:43 PM »
You could be right in thinking she posted about the engagement just to get a reaction out of you but I think it may help you detach if you stopped looking at her social media posts and tried to focus on other things in your life at this time. I know it's easy for me to say but much harder for you to do.

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #23 on: August 25, 2017, 02:25:34 PM »
Agreed. I look once in the morning and before 10 my time.

I spoke to my freind whom came home from a vacation. He asked what had happened while i was gone.

I filled him in. He stated what would be the most neutral way to answer her email. That way she recieves contact and is unemotional and is truthful.

I recited him what I would say. " I contact the company and the email went to several people and that I cannot change anything as I am not the account holder. I am leaving for such and such funeral.  "

That is what I sent. No response back. No changes. But she has now had me contact her back from NC. Or her exile from me. ..

We shall see. He agrees as well it was drastic measure to get contact. I hate being in black-split me back to white already.

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #24 on: August 26, 2017, 07:27:43 AM »
So i crafted the email response sent it and 4 hours later. There was a response back. Parpahrase  She was ( oh man very sorry to hear about-----. Do or do not  give the family my condolences.  )

What the ? Why the add on?  I know she liked him very much and considered him a strong  grandpa figure and held the upmost respect for him -- At least i thought she did.

Well she did get response from me for original email. 😡  I didnt want to. But it was not a negative interaction. She also added my uncle back onto her facebook.  I dont get it.  She took 4 hours to respond to me knowing i was going to a funeral. Which meh. Show she cared ?  Do they?  She realized i think that she was not the most important person that day.


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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #25 on: September 03, 2017, 08:27:08 PM »
Well - i was hoovered for whatever reason and it was a catch 22.  i could have answered it :

yes i will send your stuff. (Rejection and abandonment)

No - incite a rage.

I answered as i did last year. Which was i'll leave things as they are because i love you

Rage followed

Her response had  nothing to do with property. 1) I was told i was being delusional and ridiculous.
2) I'm not coming back at all

None of the answers back have anything to do with property. Because she knows  I will not send any property to them.
One of my freinds said this was a no win.  This was simple reach out to test what my temp is for her.

She has since this am deleted or hidden some photos of me. She did that last episode as well. Im still tagged.. in other photos.

We shall see what comes in the coming days. 

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #26 on: September 13, 2017, 03:25:15 PM »
Ok. I have been good  and not paying attention to whole lot of PwBPd crap she places for viewing pleasure.

I did some volunteer work today and placed photos on Facebook on page that   I admin. Not pics of me but activity that i completed.

I got done and placed them on web and drove home. my aunt called and we were talking about PwBPD and she and I were looking at her Pinterest page. I had'nt  refreshed and  she had.  She goes oh boy. I said what. She said look at what she pinned.. 

Wierdness here: she opened all the previous hidden boards and hid or deleted others. But then she added a board " abc"  Church wedding..

Realize she has pulled the relationship status off of facebook, as well as engagement, and called off the trip to her father for permission ( that one makes me giggle)

So looking at the time stamp. It was fifteen minutes after posting the photos on Facebook where she can see them on a public page. ( total reactionary response to my actions on the volunteer aspect- im living my life. She is not part of it now, and she is mad)

. Mad I'm not paying attention to her crap, not reacting to her crap, and she is sweating out her anxiety and stresses of kids, me, etc ...  i have not ever said anything to indicate  im done.

The fact she opened most if not all her boards is so weird. To randomly place the wedding plan pin within 15 minutes. Come on dear!

Not sure. Whats going on the pd mind

So dissociative in thinking-not sure or really care --just thought it wierd or coincidental. 
« Last Edit: September 13, 2017, 04:09:42 PM by Bre71 »

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2017, 07:26:59 AM »
More stuff-- i actually unfollowed the board "my wedding " --apparently Pinterest makes you auto follow if you are follower of that person. It will not notify them, and there are no notifications for that board to come up.

She hadded added more wedding plan pins late last night.  (Not sleeping)

Also added a abduction alert on her FB. ( that is one of her biggest fears is child abduction, she allegedly was close to a kid that was abducted and killled)
I looked at the link. It occured across the other side of the state from her. There have been ones closer. 

Im seeing signs of unrest,
photos of her "unhappy" kids,
(emotional manipulation)
a complaint of being in church all day, ?

complaints of children behavior- ( out of the norm/ emotional manipulation ),

abduction news, (fear/catastrophe building)

her recent removing of engagement on FB after a hoover and subsequent reply from me. Her not going to her dads for offical request for hand in marriage ( knew that would not happen)  ( emotional manipulation-provocation) She now adds wedding planning on a Pinterest .. that is passive aggressive crap there ( provocation) . To goad me into a reaction.

  As she thinks the enagement was a reason i contacted her.. well negative behavior is that and i will not deal with it.  I contacted her at that time to get black and white test.

This episode is time severe. Lots of  provocation.     

Well see what happens.  Her "fiance" does not have Pinterest or IG accounts so he likely unaware of her nonsense.. different facades on social media. 🤡

My concerns is the LDS church and its influence on her weakness to follow authority etc.. all partnof the bpd symptom .. 

I love her, i miss her, and I love and miss the kids. But at this point I am out of options-  she has not left me a opening for postive interaction. To reward good behaviors. I believe she was opening  most of her pins. To show a "hey look " they are old pins. Things we eat and her hobby. Then the new pins - that it was anger moment of me showing im not sitting around pining for her. My volunteer pics were posted at non and within 15 minutes she attacks with wedding plans. 

No different than the physical activity i posted which made her angry and she posted eggplant as exercise. 

Hmm 😒

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Bre71

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #28 on: September 14, 2017, 10:02:35 AM »
WOW.  😳🤷🏻‍♂️ :stars: :doh:

I have no idea whats eating her. But she is getting Pin happy on wedding stuff. Not alot of pins but I unfollowed a board she created another .. i unfollowed that.  I kept getting notifications..

She is really pushing this agenda --no one in the family believes she is getting married.

A no fault divorce from TX (houston no less) is going to take months beacuse of the children, etc...  and then there are the LDS rules  to commitment etc... 

Im not sure what to make of this passive aggressive attack.

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Cascade

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Re: Online attack --
« Reply #29 on: September 15, 2017, 04:47:32 PM »
How about unfollowing her on Pinterest and all social media sites so that you won't see all the things she does to gain attention or to hurt you?