How to treat a Narcissist

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wisingup

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How to treat a Narcissist
« on: July 17, 2017, 08:02:46 AM »
Saw this on my Quora feed this morning (credit Karen Arluck, Clinical Psychotherapist).  This is how to treat a narcissist if you want to avoid upsetting them at any cost.  She goes on to say that it would be quite unhealthy for the non to have to act in these ways.  Imagine all of us as children having to act this way!!

Never criticise them about anything, ever
Never publicly embarrass them
Do not point out anything they do, say, are, that might be anything other than perfect
Never compare them to someone else in an unflattering light
Do not talk to them about your negative feelings in response to anything they have said or done
Avoid getting angry or upset with them for anything
Do not outshine them in some way
Listen to anything they say
Mirror everything they say
Act as if everything they say and do is brilliant and you appreciate and admire them at all times

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practical

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Re: How to treat a Narcissist
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2017, 09:44:16 AM »
this captures my life with M and F till i decided i couldn't do it anymore.
If Im not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when Im only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when? (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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blues_cruise

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Re: How to treat a Narcissist
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2017, 10:54:09 AM »
Saw this on my Quora feed this morning (credit Karen Arluck, Clinical Psychotherapist).  This is how to treat a narcissist if you want to avoid upsetting them at any cost.  She goes on to say that it would be quite unhealthy for the non to have to act in these ways.  Imagine all of us as children having to act this way!!

Never criticise them about anything, ever
Never publicly embarrass them
Do not point out anything they do, say, are, that might be anything other than perfect
Never compare them to someone else in an unflattering light
Do not talk to them about your negative feelings in response to anything they have said or done
Avoid getting angry or upset with them for anything
Do not outshine them in some way
Listen to anything they say
Mirror everything they say
Act as if everything they say and do is brilliant and you appreciate and admire them at all times

Very accurate. Basically be subservient at all times and you might just make the grade.  :roll: :sadno: :thumbdown: I'd also add:

- Do not request anything of them. Blessings of time and attention are allocated on a points based system.
- Never say 'no'. Fulfil all favours to them without question. 
"You are not what has happened to you. You are what you choose to become." - Carl Gustav Jung

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Afterthefox

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Re: How to treat a Narcissist
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2017, 01:48:14 PM »
So in summary, do not expect a mutual relationship from a narcissist.
"Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone." - Alan Watts

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WeAreAllATadBitBroken

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Re: How to treat a Narcissist
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2017, 02:27:37 PM »

Never criticise them about anything, ever
Never publicly embarrass them
Do not point out anything they do, say, are, that might be anything other than perfect
Never compare them to someone else in an unflattering light
Do not talk to them about your negative feelings in response to anything they have said or done
Avoid getting angry or upset with them for anything
Do not outshine them in some way
Listen to anything they say
Mirror everything they say
Act as if everything they say and do is brilliant and you appreciate and admire them at all times

that was my life for many many years when dealing with uPD father and his second wife.   I finally said 'enough!' and the backlash from them has been horrible.   

so yes.  The list is spot on if you don't want to upset a narcissist!
I know now there is no bargaining with the PD- because via research and experience you learn that when you deal with PD you sure aren't getting a bargain!

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wisingup

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Re: How to treat a Narcissist
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2017, 03:52:09 PM »
yes, I think each time we have to subvert our own selves to appease the N, we lose a little something.  One day you reach the point where there's nothing left.  That's probably about the time many of us show up here.  :)