Financial question

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Financial question
« on: July 17, 2017, 08:04:46 AM »
Just a quick question (and it this needs to be moved, mods, please do): I am now in charge of our finances and trying to squeak out a little extra money every month to save aside (without him knowing).

Do you manage to do that with a PD spouse? If so, how? I am thinking the food budget, since the other bils are pretty static, but does anyone else manage ways to do this?  Would love to hearyour suggestions.

Thanks, tommom
"It is not my job to fix other people; everyone is on their own journey."


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Re: Financial question
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2017, 10:17:50 AM »
I managed our finances and towards the end of our marriage I was paying for everything in cold hard cash. I would take out $500 and hide $50 in a safe place. When the remaining cash got low I'd withdraw another $500. My u/npd (now ex) H never took an interest in the finances so he never knew.

It didn't really help though,  as I kept having to use the hidden money to pay for his credit card.

But that may be something for you to consider. I hate that our lives (yours and mine) got to that point.




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Re: Financial question
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2017, 11:29:08 PM »
Good question  tommom, I've wondered about this as well. It's tricky but dealing in cash can be helpful, putting a bit aside from a withdrawal each time. Or getting a side job that receives tips/gets paid in cash can be really helpful. I get lots of tips and have managed to save up around 1,000$ on the side at times. But there are some issues with putting money aside. If there's any chance it will be declared during a divorce proceeding it will be mostly in vain and subject to 50% split. Of course you didn't mention that being the reason but just something to know. Also, I too have used my hard earned tips for credit debt and the needs of the day to day. Not my original intention but life happens. Gas, groceries, gifts, etc. So as much as I try, I find my stockpile being drained for one reason or another. Would love to hear some others responses to this question :)



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Re: Financial question
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2017, 06:07:08 AM »
This works for me anway:

I physically write down, before a month begins, all of the expenses that I know we have.  List them in order that they need to be paid.  Then below (I do it by the week) write down how much income will come in.  Pay as many bills as you can until all of the income is gone.  Do this for each week until all of the bills are paid.  Whats left is extra.  I have found that if I do not assign the extra to something, it disappears.  I assign some as spending money,  usually assign some for future projects or goals, and assign the rest as savings. 

Included with the bills is always gas money, food money, anything that we have to spend money on to live.  It takes a month or two of actually writing it down to get it all, but once you get a good month you can look back and its easier not to miss anything. 

Also I've found that I have to assign some spending money.  I was tempted to cut that out at one point, but it ends up sabotaging another category.



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Re: Financial question
« Reply #4 on: August 20, 2017, 10:28:03 PM »
I agree with cash and it may be best to keep it under the mattress.  I'm not sure how it would look in future legal proceedings if you established an individual account that was getting fed regularly from an unidentified source.