Any practicing Catholics?

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longedforchild

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Any practicing Catholics?
« on: July 30, 2017, 08:45:24 PM »
Any practicing Catholics in this community? Would love to talk to someone else in the faith who understands the struggles that come with having a family member PD tied into your faith.

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NotFooledAnymore

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2017, 02:18:51 PM »
Yes, my husband and I are. I've been struggling, as well, reconciling my faith with everything that has happened with my NMIL (who claims to be a very devout Catholic and even has several Priests who are her "close" friends. She's a pillar of the community).

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DM178

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2017, 08:46:39 PM »
Yes, 'cradle catholic', raised by UBpdM who was a Fanatical Catholic...she was very very rigid about her faith, and our family life was heavily structured around the Catholic Church.

There was not much 'joy' in how we practiced our faith - it seemed like more of the same - plenty of hysterics if anyone missed mass, and the catholic teachings were utilized like a hammer - to induce plenty of shame and delivered by her with extreme animosity and rigidity.

I have struggled my entire life with reconciling a religious practice with my spirituality.

I do belong to a Catholic Church, but do not routinely attend.

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NotFooledAnymore

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2017, 02:54:27 PM »
DM178, that sounds very similar to NMIL. She LOVES to guilt everyone if they miss Mass or a Holy Day of Obligation. Especially when she visits my BIL and his wife, she loves to lay on the guilt when they don't go to Mass. She treats Saints like good luck charms and that's really disturbing.

We are practicing Catholics and, thankfully, my DH is able to still have a true faith-filled relationship with God and not a "superstitious" or obligatory one as a result of her guilt trips and behaviors.

She loves to let everyone know how close of a friend she is to so many Priests and her parish thinks she's God's greatest gift to their church. I'm thankful that she does do great things for people but it's just heartbreaking that she treats her own family so poorly.

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DM178

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2017, 06:10:48 PM »
I think it is a miracle that we both still have a catholic foundation that we utilize! I did go for years with no association with the church, but you know that saying "you can leave the church, but the church never leaves you"?!! I guess it is true.

I do find the routine of it very comforting, and I love going to early AM week day masses...because there are so few people there,  & the mass seems so "stark" without any music..I love it!

Do you ever struggle with Catholicism because of the mix of PD and religion that you grew up with? I struggle abit, and I am wondering if others do to.....Thank you for surfacing this topic :wave:

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DM178

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2017, 06:13:33 PM »
I have also identified this pattern in myself...when I am struggling the hardest with my UBPDM, I tend to drift away from going to church (even though I keep up daily prayer, scripture reading from catholic mass).

I also have found lately no relief from the anger I have had, since going NC earlier this year..nothing seems to take it away from me....heavy sigh  :-[

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Joan

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2017, 07:19:10 PM »
Another Catholic here!

I actually talked to a priest about uPDs (he is a psychologist). He was very validating and gave me great advice. I intend to talk to him again soon.

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DM178

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2017, 06:24:30 PM »
Hi Joan;

That is wonderful that you have found solace in your priest.

I wonder if sometimes our Catholicism contributes to the difficulties of staying away, and/or staying in, The Fog?

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Joan

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Re: Any practicing Catholics?
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2017, 08:54:41 PM »
Hi DM178!

I guess a wrong interpretation of Catholicism may make us endure a lot more than we should.

We are taught to turn the other cheek, but we usually forget that Jesus turned the tables at the temple. I actually talked to another priest about that and he validated me 100%.

At home I was taught to accept unacceptable behaviour (to forgive all he time) but that´s not our faith. It was a misinterpretation of it. No one is supposed to remain in an abusive marriage (remember theres even anulment) or to be abused by family members.