BPDstbx is contesting the divorce and has unflattering videos of me

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Kickstart

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My BPDstbxw and I have no children or shared property but is contesting the divorce because she thinks I should buy her a new car and pay all of her future medical bills. My lawyer called her claims outlandish and told me no judge in Arkansas will grant her demands.

 I wasn't really worried about it until I received her discovery requests. One of them asks if I have any recorded videos of our conversations. When we were together she'd intentionally bait me and start heated arguments and then would video me. I know I look like a crazy person in those videos. Mostly me screaming and yelling and admitting to false claims just to get her to stop harassing me. I honestly don't remember exactly what would be in the videos. Now I'm worried she's going to introduce the videos as some sort of evidence. Any ideas of what I should do or expect? I'm talking to my lawyer soon and will let him know all of this as well.

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Skippyd

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Re: BPDstbx is contesting the divorce and has unflattering videos of me
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2017, 04:41:17 PM »
I take it Arkansas is not a no-fault state?

My state is no fault but I was still concerned about a post-nuptial agreement I signed and gave her a couple years ago stating I was abusive to her so I would take good care of her in a split. 

My therapist and two lawyers have both said that the document could be contested on the basis of being signed under duress.   Basically, I was being heavily gaslighted into believing I was the abusive one, not her.   I had no idea about her BPD at the time.   

So I'm thinking you may be in a similar position- being beaten into believing your the abusive one and the videos could be contested that way.   You also could request a psych eval on her. 

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Rose1

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Re: BPDstbx is contesting the divorce and has unflattering videos of me
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2017, 05:46:29 PM »
A psych evaluation is a good idea. The thought of it can make a lot of bpd stuff go away I found (depends on the person of course)

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Kickstart

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Re: BPDstbx is contesting the divorce and has unflattering videos of me
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2017, 07:17:25 PM »
My ex is smart and super manipulative. I'm worried she'd be able to hide her BPD in a psyche eval. Is that something that could happen?

Also she's been formally diagnosed as BPD if that matters. I really didn't want to dive into her mental health during the divorce but I guess she's forcing me.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2017, 07:20:40 PM by Kickstart »

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Me_Again

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Re: BPDstbx is contesting the divorce and has unflattering videos of me
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2017, 07:37:00 PM »
Also she's been formally diagnosed as BPD if that matters. I really didn't want to dive into her mental health during the divorce but I guess she's forcing me.

Yeah, she's forcing you to go there. What can your attorney ask her for in discovery?  Her medical records? Is she employed? Has she ever been employed? What about people who worked with her having to answer your attorney's questions? Basically, she's trying to bully you. So consult with your attorney and fight back.

She's not going to all of a sudden be a sweetheart and quietly sign a fair agreement. It isn't going to get any better. So you need to deal with the reality she's given you. I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but she's fired the first salvo. Now you and your attorney have to decide how to respond.

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Skippyd

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Re: BPDstbx is contesting the divorce and has unflattering videos of me
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2017, 07:52:34 PM »
My understanding is that, depending on the tests given, it is very difficult to manipulate and falsify a psych eval, especially the Rorschach's test for BPDs.      I have been told they are very expensive.   She will also probably request one on you. 

I agree that she probably won't relent or go away.  PDs generally don't see themselves as ever being in the wrong and can be relentless warriors for what they perceive as justice. 

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Rose1

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Re: BPDstbx is contesting the divorce and has unflattering videos of me
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2017, 09:31:53 PM »
If she has a diagnosis then that may be sufficient. She may not want it out in court. Check with your lawyer. In some states it could work against you