Forensic psychiatrist report

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MalePrimate

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Forensic psychiatrist report
« on: October 12, 2017, 05:58:50 PM »
Finally got the forensic psychiatric report back. My soon to be x has strong paranoid and narcissistic traits and a fatalist end times view that is so bad the Dr. recommends keeping supervised visitation in place. It's a huge relief as I really feel like I am fighting for our son's lives. Literally. They are 10 and 12 and have been put through the ringer with her. It looks like the GAL agrees with a sole custody arrangement.

But she will fight it I am sure. Big expensive trial coming. But I will just accept this will be my life for the next year or so.

Sigh. Ready for the next hill but so relieved to have arrived where I am.

Needed to share that.

 :)

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Mintstripes

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #1 on: October 12, 2017, 09:43:37 PM »
Wow, I really hope this is a step in ththe right direction for you and your sons. It sure sounds promising to have this evaluation on your side.

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kazzak

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2017, 05:14:51 AM »
Congrats, that is a big step, I've walked down your path and finished the expensive and dramatic trial about a year ago. All turned out as expected, not so terrible, although it did take a toll when it comes to time and expenses. The most important thing, I can say, is to take good care of yourself so you can keep taking good care of your sons.

I was in the same situation regarding supervised visits and the trial. The predicament that I discovered was that (where I live) courts don't typically like to make permanent orders for children that involve supervision of parenting time. For example, it was necessary for my DS7 to have supervised visits but it was unlikely the judge would make permanent orders that DS7 should have supervised visits with exNPD/HPD until he was 18 years old. Frankly, supervised visits are not a permanent solutions - ime.

In the end, my ex continued to show her true colors and lost all parenting time before the trial. And does not have custody or parenting time now. While she still has a route available regarding future parenting time (required in my state by law) the judge put many requirements in place that are needed before that will be entertained again. Since the trial was completed, ex has made no substantial efforts to pursue parenting time that I know of. Although the shenanigans continue.

It's a process, but as you described - you are fighting for their lives. I can relate to that and believe you. You can't neglect their needs, let alone yours.

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October99

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2017, 09:06:14 AM »
Oh how I would like to know the true dx. It is scary the way things play out and he thinks is normal. Yes, fight for your kids and help them through this. I have no idea how I would deal with the fallout from supervised visits. I think that short visits when he is at his best is what will work for us. I am hoping he agrees since he doesn't have the money to fight me on much.

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Whiteheron

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2017, 09:40:45 AM »
That is wonderful news! If you don't mind sharing, I have a few questions about the eval - did the entire family need to speak with the evaluator, or just your xW? I am curious - we all need to speak to a forensic evaluator in the next few months. I am terrified stbxuPDh (dx bipolar) will be able to outsmart the test/evaluator. So if you took it yourself, do you think it would  be easy for them to fake 'normalcy'? The evaluator we are scheduled to meet with takes 6+ hours with each adult.

Please keep us posted and let us know what happens next...I'm not too far behind where you are. I don't think stbx can resist the allure of a trial where he will get to shine and tell everyone, "see it's really not me, it's her..." Good luck to you!
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

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kazzak

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2017, 09:56:29 AM »
Whiteheron, I've taken a full eval. Faking normalcy is built into the process, ime. It's not like no one has ever tried before. When my ex did try to persuade the elaluator, or fake things, then it was called out in the eval and part of the overall report. The evaluator we used wasn't even remotely fooled. And the faking just built the case further for the diagnoses. They go by what's presented to them and are trained well, ime.

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Kit99

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2017, 11:15:29 AM »
Wow! That's so great that they got an accurate diagnosis. My now exH snows  therapists, so I was worried that if I had the court order a psychiatric evaluation that he would come out smelling like roses because he can put on a good show. You just feel so validated.

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MalePrimate

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2017, 05:21:28 PM »
Whiteheron:

At my attorneys advice I asked for a mutual forensic evaluation. It included 10 hours one on one with me and 13 hours one on one with her. Also he met our kids alone. With me. And with her. He also had 100s of pages of collateral material including police reports. Affidavits, social media posts, hospital records (issue with my youngest son), and her own testimony.

She managed to come across as normal two times prior with other evaluators in a less rigorous situation and it was explained to me by a psychologist that without the collateral information it is hard for anyone to truly know of the person is being manipulative.

Also this evaluation took place over 6 months so he really go to know both of us.

It was hard. Only regret is I didn't start sooner. I feel like I can now start to live my life on my terms and just breathe.

There is no official dx. He said she does not have a mental illness. Instead she suffers from extrem paranoid narcissistic traits and lacks ability to create empathic bonds. His biggest concern is she is unable to put the needs of the kids over her own needs. It's 18 pages but he does squarely come down on the side that she should not have unsupervised visitation until such time that she completes extensive therapy. At that point he said it can be reassessed.

He also said, as did the psychologist her attorney sent her to, that I should have final decision making on all issues pertaining to the kids.

She will fight it but fortunately I can afford it and her entire family has provided affidavits on the kids behalf.

Sad. It's like a wasted life. When she is nice she is great. But when she is not she is literally deadly.

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Whiteheron

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2017, 08:25:44 AM »
Thanks for the feedback kazzak and maleprimate. My attorney asked for the evaluation. She said it would be the only way to get our entire story in front of the judge. GALs, etc only get summaries, but this evaluation is supposed to be very in-depth and will consider teachers' and therapists' input in the evaluation. I can also provide the evaluator with any documentation I feel is needed (emails, texts, affidavits, etc).

I'm nervous because stbx is a master manipulator and very smart. Knowing this, my attorney requested the evaluation be with the best evaluator in our state...so we are on a waiting list.

The closer we get to the evaluation - supposed to be before the end of the year, the crazier stbx's requests trough his L are becoming. His attempted manipulation of me using the court is increasing. I haven't had any feedback from the court, so my imagination is running wild...do they believe him? Do they think I'm this controlling, manipulative, unstable woman he's portraying me to be? Do they believe his claims that I'm alienating him from the kids? Do they believe his claims that I am the reason he isn't close with the kids? It goes on and on.

It looks like instead of worrying, I should start compiling all the documentation I will need. That will give me something do do instead of worrying.

I really hope our eval doesn't take that long. We are still under the same roof - another six months with him will be very damaging for myself and the kids.

Thank you both for sharing.
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

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kazzak

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Re: Forensic psychiatrist report
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2017, 09:05:27 AM »
I haven't had any feedback from the court, so my imagination is running wild...do they believe him? Do they think I'm this controlling, manipulative, unstable woman he's portraying me to be? Do they believe his claims that I'm alienating him from the kids? Do they believe his claims that I am the reason he isn't close with the kids? It goes on and on.

You really won't get feedback until there are final orders and the judge makes permanent decisions. It's only fair, I guess, that he has all the information before making those sort of decisions. I can completely understand with regards to how you have been attacked, and question so much. After all, you've (probably) heard your ex say it repeatedly. My ex made a lot of claims, and none of them stood up in the end. The hard part was the case took 3 years. Crazy making - but in hindsight it was all obvious and it was very unlikely that any judge would get it wrong.