Court today

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Broken heart

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Court today
« on: March 14, 2018, 09:27:10 AM »
He’s trying to cancel or amend my protection order. I have a lawyer now and drafted up is a pretty epic affidavit of my own in response to whatever the hell he submitted. Still, as these things go, nothing’s guaranteed. Wish me luck.

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Whiteheron

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Re: Court today
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2018, 12:33:20 PM »
Good Luck!!!
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

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LightOrb

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Re: Court today
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2018, 04:21:55 PM »
Good luck! I wish you and your lawyer destroy whatever crap he submitted.

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D.Dan

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Re: Court today
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2018, 04:27:30 PM »
Good luck! :)

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Liftedfog

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Re: Court today
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2018, 05:18:48 PM »
Interesting that he is allowed to have feedback on a protection order against him. Where I live only the victim can make amendments.    Stay strong. 

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Broken heart

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Re: Court today
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2018, 08:50:12 PM »
Here hes allowed to try and plead his case that hes not abusive. My lawyer sunk him though. He agreed and said he was going to sign it but when we got before the judge he played games. He said he wont be able to get to work if the car breaks down (he tried asking my dad for help to fix it at the house which the order covered), then said if he can’t get to work because the car breaks down how can he pay support or pay for supervised visits? Judge just looked at him like wth pal. “Were going to take a break and Mr **** you go talk to some legal aid and well get back to this”. I could hear my lawyer audibly sigh. He played the “i dont know what Im doing” card. It worked for all of an hour until we came back and he was advised to just sign the damned things. Stop playing around you started this process with your games we can all see through. I feel relieved but now sad knowing this is truly the end. After all i tried for 12+ years to fix this. I just ended up cutting myself on his brokenness. Time to give myself that love I so freely gave him.

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symbasmommy

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Re: Court today
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2018, 09:08:32 PM »
Oh Broken heart....I am so sorry....it hurts...we try and try and try...we are fixers and empathetic times a million...even though it's a foreign feeling...yes begin to give yourself the love you deserve to heal.... :)

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Funmum

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Re: Court today
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2018, 01:41:13 AM »
Well done! That's such a gruelling thing you went through.
It's horrible and unfair that as soon as we make a bit of progress getting ourselves better protected, letting outsiders know what goes on with them and succeed in getting that space we need we feel then the pain and sadness for the situation that they are imso able of really feeling. They feel sad but for their immediate and personal loss.
I remember being baffled at how stbx didn't really "get" that he couldn't just play the same games he did with me and that would work in court. They drag us through so much unnecessary fighting because they believe so completely in their right to have and do anything they wish without regard for another. It baffles them when others don't agree with this. Mine now knows that he last himself open and is being much more sneaky this time round.
Be very very good to yourself. Allow some grieving time which you will need and don't judge yourself for that. Start to do things that bring you pleasure when you start to have the energy and work on working out what you like in all things. If you are anything like me that gets lost second guessing what it is they like and want. Don't let guilt for being able to do this get to you. He lost this because of his unreasonable behaviour. Not because of anything you did. He is responsible. Well done. Xxx

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LightOrb

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Re: Court today
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2018, 06:16:38 AM »
They drag us through so much unnecessary fighting because they believe so completely in their right to have and do anything they wish without regard for another.

 :yeahthat:

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GettingOOTF

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Re: Court today
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2018, 06:50:31 AM »
I’m glad he signed. I think that they get so used to being able to control and push us around that they think that everyone will fall for their BS.

The ridiculous example of going to your father to get the car fixed is exactly the logic my BPDXH would have used. I mean really! Your father is the only person who can fix cars?


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Broken heart

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Re: Court today
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2018, 10:52:49 AM »
It was utterly ridiculous. He looked unkempt too like he hadn’t had a haircut since we took our son back in November. When we got back in the courtroom after break and he had to walk by me he said “thank you”. For what I’ll never know. I think he was trying to say to everybody that I’m keeping him from the kids but I didnt. I set things up for supervised visitation. The protection order was for me only and the house only (trying to protect my dad as much as I can). I want orders in place for his family next if he can’t get an agreement on paper for their access denied to myself and the children. I want nothing to do with abusers. I have extensive posts about them in the inlaws forum here.