"I love all my children equally"

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Reda

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"I love all my children equally"
« on: May 16, 2018, 05:26:57 PM »
Over the years my covert NMIL has said to me many times "I don't play favorites. I love all my children equally." 

It's recently occurred to me that this is a very odd thing to say.  Of all the people I know with children, she is the ONLY person to ever volunteer this piece of information.

It finally hit me -- she says this to cover for the fact that she DOESN'T love all her children equally, and she's trying to cover her tracks cause that would make her look like  bad mother.

My husband is the scapegoat of the family.  His older brother is golden child boy.  His younger sister is golden child girl.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2018, 11:06:58 PM by Bloomie »
Don't feed the Narcissist

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logistics

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2018, 06:45:28 PM »
My mother stated the same thing. Actually stayed it in her own eulogy.  She loved us equally but treated us differently. 

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all4peace

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2018, 09:43:13 PM »
DH says his parents were obsessed with "fairness." In this family, it means everyone gets a bday gift. The level of unfairness in all other things is staggering, like 9:1 effort, time, attention, care, etc. I have rarely seen favoritism this marked, but they would deny it. In fact, they have, repeatedly. Facts did not deter them.

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qcdlvl

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2018, 10:21:14 PM »
The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

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Seven

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2018, 04:33:26 AM »
Please donít get me started on this. If I heard my mother say this again (and sheís said it in the past) then Iíd call BS on her immediately. M heavily favorites her sons that itís amazingly blatant to all the siblings AND outsiders.   My bros have done some Jerry Springer-worthy stuff, yet still do no wrong, whereas us girls can do no right.

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Love

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2018, 07:25:29 AM »
This is my mil's mantra because she repeats it every time she ever saw us.  She would also include grandchildren in this.  I believe as you do they do it to cover up the truth and for sure they would never admit it anyway.

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daughter

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2018, 08:36:53 AM »
And my response has been "but actions speak louder than words".

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Reda

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2018, 08:54:13 AM »
Exactly.  No one who actually does love their children equally would ever even think to say these words -- of course you love your children equally.  Only someone worried that their unequal actions might have been noticed and is worried others might think they are a bad person would speak these words.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
Don't feed the Narcissist

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blacksheep7

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2018, 10:43:12 AM »
" M heavily favorites her sons that itís amazingly blatant to all the siblings AND outsiders."

Same here

She also favors my "lost child" sister, telling our cousin that she is "easy".  And BPM told me she (sis) had it harder in life than me.  M doesn't really know my life, I never shared my hardships with her and she used to complain about it.  lol
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 10:48:55 AM by blacksheep7 »
I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep are not as white as they try to appear.

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Pepin

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Re: "I love all my children equally"
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2018, 10:47:07 AM »
" M heavily favorites her sons that itís amazingly blatant to all the siblings AND outsiders."

Same here

Ditto.  The copy of PDmil's Will says it all, too.  I feel very sorry for DH's sisters. 
Why work so hard to have a relationship with someone that does not care the same way as you?

No PD is going to tell me what to do.

Born into a dysfunctional family and married into a dysfunctional family.

People who don't bring joy, let them go.