Was she poisoning us?

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Theniece

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Was she poisoning us?
« on: July 12, 2018, 01:33:34 PM »
I have a npd relative who in the past has behaved in an odd way, she refused to have myself and my mum (who she hates) in her kitchen when she dished up a meal at her house when we visited. When she brought the plates out she was very particular about whose plate was whose... an hour later my mum would without fail be over the toliet throwing up whereas I would be fine. One visit we decided that when my relative went back to the get kitchen to get her plate that we would stop plates (mum and i)... an hour later I was throwing up whereas my mum was fine. My relative asked me "you didn't have your mum's plate did you?"

Recently she came to visit, and several food items in our kitchen have since tasted strange and we are ill after eating them.

My question is: is it possible that she was poisoning us? And if so how? What could she have used?

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Reda

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2018, 03:46:04 PM »
omg, it definitely sounds suspicious.  I'd set a trap Ö invite her over again, set up a nanny cam in the kitchen, and give her access where she knows you want come in and surprize her (make a point of being in the back yard or something. 

Don't feed the Narcissist

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Adria

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2018, 06:32:16 PM »
Yikes! Does sound suspicious.  My sister used to talk about poisoning people after she got her nurses license with prescription drugs.  I've always wondered if she did something to my son to invoke his illness.  It makes me cringe to think about it, but you gotta wonder.  I like Reda's idea about setting her up. It's hard to believe anyone could do something like that. Sounds like something out of a bad movie.  For your sake, I hope it isn't true.
Hugs, Adria

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Theniece

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2018, 07:37:58 PM »
Unfortunately we live too far apart to set her up. Since posting today, several of our homemade pickles have turned odd colours, this has never happened before.

Can anyone tell me what could she have put on our food that would make us vomit?

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WomanInterrupted

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2018, 04:09:22 AM »
Any of dozens of things, or more, I'm afraid, including unscrewing the tops of sealed canning jars, enough to let air get in and bad bacteria take over.   >:(

It could be simple ipecac, which, to me, is The Most Likely Suspect, because it's the easiest to get and wouldn't arouse suspicion - but I'm probably wrong.  I think that works pretty much immediately and is meant to bring things up that shouldn't have gone down in the first place, but only if they aren't caustic substances, which are best neutralized with charcoal.

Would it turn pickles a funny color?  No clue.  BUT, if they've turned color, I'd throw them out - no matter the reason.   :yes:

They're probably safe, but why risk your health on a couple of bucks' worth of pickles?   :P

Besides, you can make more.  (I love making pickles, and not just out of cukes.  If you're into pickling just about any veg you can get your hands on, Alton Brown has some really good recipes.   :) )

Since a nanny cam (a great idea!) is out of the question, this might sort the whole thing:  going OUT for dinner, to a restaurant, or not eating with her and simply meeting up for coffee.

Personally, I'd go a bit further than that - don't do any meals with her, at all, EVER, and *never let her in your house.*   :thumbup: :ninja:

Meet somewhere public instead.

If somebody is going to go as far as to put something in ONE plate, to make a particular person sick and blithely comment, "You didn't have your mum's plate, did you?" - there is something seriously WRONG with that person, IMO.   :aaauuugh:

If ANY food in your house tastes strange since she left, pitch it.  Yes, I hate wasting food, too, and I had it drummed into my head since I was a child that there were starving people all over the world that would LOVE that moldy rice, that I shouldn't have let get moldy in the first place (hey - stuff happens and gets lost in the fridge, from time to time) - but it's a *safety issue.*

If even your canned goods taste weird - store bought, within expiration dates, and NO can swelling - I'm going to suggest something.

This person has sufficiently freaked you out in that your *brain is trying to WARN you.  Pay attention.  This person has serious issues and if she turns on you, or thinks your mom could come over and eat your food, she doesn't CARE who it might hurt.*   :stars:

I'm not saying the canned goods ARE tainted - you'd notice.  To my knowledge, there's nothing that can penetrate a sealed can and not leave a hole.

If many things, or everything tastes weird and you know there is NO plausible explanation - she didn't get to your freezer, she didn't despoil your dry pasta and canned goods, and didn't sprinkle things on unopened boxes of frozen waffles or cereal - I think your brain and body are syncing up to tell you, "HEY!  Conscious mind!  Our sovereign being was VIOLATED by somebody with a vendetta and quite probably a mental illness, and doesn't care WHO the fuck she makes sick along the way!  Wake up and pay attention, will you!?" 

I'm not saying your reaction is unfounded - I'd be scared, too, and treat it as a *wake-up call.*

Messing with food is *never* funny.  It's the *one* thing we share with every single culture on earth - we like to eat and share food with our friends, in a safe environment and just have a good time *being.*   8-)

I'd put on my Detective Hat and identify *which* foods made you ill.

Produce?  Bread?  Leftovers in easily-opened containers, in the fridge?

WHERE is the central problem, or problems?

Fridge?  Pantry?  Produce drawer?

Frozen veg?

WHAT is involved - she may have simply unscrewed the cap on the pickles to let air in, which, if they're not refrigerated and kept in a pantry, makes them bad eats.

Is canning pantry the primary target?

Only you know - you live in your house and know what you ate, and what made you sick.

I know it sounds a bit laborious, but I had a cat with an Undetermined Allergy that caused his throat and tongue to ulcer quite severely and actually figured it out by being a Charting Beast of WHAT did he eat, and what are the ingredients?

He's allergic to any grain, so all our cats eat grain-free food now and life is lovely.   :sunny:

That's simply an "ooops!" of nature, and you can't plan for those - but if you suspect somebody is intentionally trying to make you sick, quite frankly, I'd be VERY thorough in my charting and probably never have anything to do with that person again.

Once you start charting where foods came from that made you sick (what, where), you're probably going to start noticing a pattern, fairly quickly, and can dump the contents of those areas into the trash or compost, and start fresh.

And then suddenly be "busy" the next time she's in town, or you're invited to hers.   :ninja:

Once you put your Detective Hat on, I think things will make a lot more sense - and you'll stop getting sick, because you'll know what to target and remove.

 :hug:


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Malini

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2018, 08:02:06 AM »
Who knows what she might have used, I also thought maybe something like Ipecac but I'm no scientist.

More importantly, you need to ensure that you avoid any situations which would put you in danger again. I agree with WI, if you want/have to see her (although why would you if you suspect she is trying to poison you), do it at a restaurant and never let her cross your threshold again, and never eat at her home either.

Also, like WI, I hate wasting food, but recently threw away a batch of canned tomato sauce I just had a bad feeling about. Better be safe than dead. I'd throw out anything that you suspect she may or could have tampered with, it will give you peace of mind when you eat your food instead of wondering if you're going to get sick.

She sounds like a very unsafe person to be around, so you need to take all precautions to stay safe yourself, even if you're with her in a restaurant, don't leave the table unattended, it's too easy to slip something in a drink or sprinkle something over food.
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xredshoesx

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2018, 12:25:11 PM »
please do take precautions to make sure that you decline further invitations to eat at her home and make sure she's not a guest in yours...

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Theniece

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2018, 07:28:10 PM »
Yes, I certainly will never eat in her house or have her to ours again. The items that mostly seem affected is , a lemon which she brought into the house and then "forgot" when she left, salad dressings made with it taste awful and like chemicals. Ginger bugs made with it turn pink and taste funny. Also an iceberg lecctece also tasted weird like chemicals and finally the homemade pickles which were kept out on the work top turned an odd colour. When we used to visit her house and eat her food tasted odd and like chemicals again...
I believe that if she did kill us she would feel no remorse and would only be sorry for being caught. She seems to have no morals

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Blodyn

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2018, 05:40:28 PM »
If you have suspicions that your food has been tampered with I suggest you take the food to the Police, with your suspicions and ask that the apolice test the food.

I would also suggest you set up a home cctv cam in the kitchen next time your relative comes around and cooks for you.

This is a serious issue that canít be resolved on this forum. 

You need the help of the Police.

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helpmeplease

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2018, 05:29:16 AM »
I have lots of pds in my extended family. Two sisters cousins of mine cheerfully recounted a story about spitting into someone's meal once. I used to be very sleepy after eating with first pd. Pd people are capable of anything. Keep away from this relative. Just because she is family does not mean she is safe.

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Zebrastriped

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2018, 01:29:42 PM »
Theneice, I developed a very strict boundary of never eating anything at my parents' house or anything that came from it.  Any food I took home I promptly threw out, mostly for food safety issues.  Then, the parents gave me store bought cookies to take home to the FOC.  I threw those out too.  On the next visit, uBPDmom asked me if the cookies made anyone at my house sick, that's why my parents were getting rid of them.   :aaauuugh: Say what?  Just so you know you are not the first or only.

My two cents, get rid of anything suspicious, worry less about what exactly she used and concentrate on prevention. 

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sandpiper

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2018, 02:54:05 AM »
I had a friend at these boards in my early days here and her MIL would substitute weird things in recipes in order to ruin an occasion. Her favourite thing was to swap sugar for salt so that Xmas cookies tasted really awful and it upset the children.
My friend used to throw out any food that her MIL had prepared. I think eventually they moved to get away from her.

I'm allergic to seafood & years ago I had friends insist on having me over to dinner. I don't usually eat at friends' homes because the food allergy thing is just too hard, but this woman insisted & she seemed really genuine so I went along with it. When I sat down to the meal (a curry) I could smell prawn paste in it so I didn't eat it. I told my friend that I could smell it and had she added it and she swore that I was just being paranoid. So I said 'Perhaps someone else in the house added it without your knowledge.' Her husband said later that he had added prawn paste 'because I walked past the pot and it didn't smell right & I thought my wife had forgotten it.' This woman's husband had a long history of never helping her with ANYTHING around the house and he complained if he was expected to lift a finger to do anything, so frankly I just can't see him knowing enough about cooking to know that a 'usual' ingredient was missing. I think that the entire set of them just concocted the dinner party to create drama, because a week or so afterwards, the best friend of the cook took me aside and told me that our friends were really distressed that I hadn't eaten their meal and they were really embarrassed and worried that they'd put something in the dish that I was allergic to and I was a terrible person for not eating that meal. If I'd really loved them I'd have eaten the meal rather than hurt their feelings.
I explained anaphylaxis to this person and asked her if she still thought that was the right thing to do.
She said Yes.
At that point I decided I wasn't going to put my life in their hands ever again.
End of friendship.
There's still a circle of friends back in my old home town who think I'm an appalling human being because I didn't let them kill me via their preferred method, i.e. Poison.

If you have people in your life who attempt physical harm to you, then you need to report this to the police and have it investigated, and then you need them out of your life.
Gone.
 
« Last Edit: August 02, 2018, 10:15:24 AM by Spring Butterfly »

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goodgirl

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2018, 10:50:56 AM »
This entire thread just leaves me speechless.

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freed spirit

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #13 on: August 06, 2018, 02:31:38 PM »
This entire thread just leaves me speechless.

Yup me too.

Frightening to think some people have such little regard for human life .  We think other people have the same values as us. I think you should remove yourself from people like that, who knows what else they are capable of?

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qcdlvl

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #14 on: August 06, 2018, 03:48:31 PM »
I think you should remove yourself from people like that, who knows what else they are capable of?

This. Something like this, in my view, is more than enough on its own to call for NC for your own safety. Attempted poisoning is a call-the-cops matter.

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sandpiper

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #15 on: October 11, 2018, 03:17:16 AM »
My mother's family were big fans of mocking food allergies and both my sisters found partners who shared this behaviour.
Recently someone asked me if I'd consider quitting NC and the first thought in my mind was 'How on earth could I trust them not to wilfully contaminate my food - for their own entertainment - at a family meal?'
It's a major part of the narcissism, in my mother's family.
I remember as a small child noticing - and being horrified by the discovery - that to the NPD, someone else's illness exists merely as a source of inconvenience to the narcissist.
One of my cousins had extremely dangerous i.e. potentially lethal allergic asthma.
One of my other cousins had a long and satisfying bitch about how asthmatic cousin got sick on purpose just to throw the (social) game of cricket that they had planned for that weekend.
I remember looking at N cousin and registering not only the total lack of empathy, but the conviction that Asthmatic Cousin had become ill with no other goal in mind than to inconvenience NPD cousin.
The way their brains work, to bypass empathy completely, is just terrifying at times.

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LSK1999

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Re: Was she poisoning us?
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2018, 09:06:41 PM »
This is so disturbing but in total honesty I have wondered if my NM had not fed me bad food or something like this when I was a kid. I threw up an awful lot when I was a kid....maybe it was just nerves. But to this day I sort of have a food phobia and am super weird about what I will eat...I always wondered where this comes from....this is super awful. My suggestion...stay far away from this woman and I would absolutely be concerned about ever letting her into your home.