Dealing with a colleague who jokes all the time

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Marya

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Dealing with a colleague who jokes all the time
« on: October 11, 2018, 06:31:05 PM »
Good day to all.

I have a new colleague who started off as nice, but soon began to joke around constantly. It has become a source of disturbance in numerous ways.

My question is this: is there some sort of red flag regarding people who are constantly joking around and cannot be serious? Is the inability of this person to be serious, and constantly need to joke, a red flag, and if so, what is the red flag pointing to and why is it one?

Thank you.






« Last Edit: October 11, 2018, 06:48:53 PM by Marya »

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notrightinthehead

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Re: Dealing with a colleague who jokes all the time
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2018, 06:57:48 PM »
Welcome to this site! Your colleagues' jokes seem to bother you. Do you know why they bother you?

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clara

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Re: Dealing with a colleague who jokes all the time
« Reply #2 on: October 12, 2018, 01:19:46 PM »
If it seems inappropriate, it can signal a desperate desire to be liked.  You routinely  hear successful comedians say how they became popular in school by being the "funny  person."  In most people, it's harmless.  Whether or not you wish to engage with such a person is a choice you can make, but that choice is largely taken away  when it's a work situation.  Sometimes people like that don't understand that their constant lack of seriousness can indicate it extends to their work, as well.  It's natural then to see them as shallow and untrustworthy.  They may be the best employee in the company, yet still give off a vibe that they really could care less.  Since it's up to your employer whether or not they're working out, all you can do in the meantime is engage with them as little as possible and keep what interaction is necessary strictly work related.  People like that tend to wear others out, same as people who talk constantly, or otherwise engage in disruptive behaviors.  The problem is, they seldom see what they're doing as a problem, and you can't tell them it is (that has to come from a supervisor) and even then, they often can't see it because it literally is part of who they are.  Unfortunately, you just have to deal with them (or not) as best you can.

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Orthocone

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Re: Dealing with a colleague who jokes all the time
« Reply #3 on: October 12, 2018, 04:39:27 PM »
Not able to be serious in and of itself doesn't seem as much a problem to me.  What might be a problem is if the person's jokes are at others' expense (I work with a manager who does this), or if otherwise offensive and won't try to see why they are offensive. 
"You know makes the night so beautiful?  That the galaxy had a chance to sit in darkness, but it decided to let stars shine bright."-S D-B

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Marya

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Re: Dealing with a colleague who jokes all the time
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2018, 08:04:54 PM »
Thank you for the replies.  :)

I do not mind joking. With the right person, and the right situation, I can easily joke around and have a very good time.

That said, it takes me time to get to know people usually, particularly in a group setting. Some of this individuals "jokes" could also have been read as insults, and it threw me off and began to bother me, because I could not tell which they were. Wondering if I was being insulted was not pleasant, to say the least.

All the same, I can see where this person can be fun to be around. I suppose for me I would rather get to be a little more comfortable with someone before starting in on the types of jokes that could be construed in different ways. I also do appreciate being able to take things seriously as well.

Thank you again for the replies!