Delusional behavior

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11JB68

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Delusional behavior
« on: November 19, 2018, 12:32:20 AM »
I'm curious about this...is it really 'delusional', or more of a denial/defense mechanism? Most articles I find deal more with paranoid delusions...uPDh has shown some paranoia, but some of his delusional thinking is more of the denial variety. E.g. (there's more background to this that also relates to his uPD, but I'll skip the details), he has increasing health issues, including edema in his feet, refuses to see a dr, cannot do anything physical...walking,yard work, etc. It snowed last week and I did all the shoveling. I left some gloves for for him today a it was quite cold out and his question was "well do I have gloves for shoveling because that's what I really need them for!"   I assume that I should not point out his delusions to him...but I almost blurted out, "you think you're going to shovel?". I think he believes that this health issue is just going to magically go away. How can I have a realistic conversation with him about a) he should see a Dr b) we should hire someone to help with snow removal this winter, etc....

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MRound

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Re: Delusional behavior
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2018, 12:43:56 AM »
I donít think that is a delusion, but more as you say, denial.  I think a delusion would be more along the lines that you and your neighbors expect his to shovel all the snow in the neighborhood, and he plans to do it, just like he did last year (when he didnít). If sounds weirdóbut people do have delusions that they are really important people, like the messiah, or have secret super powers, etc.  The only delusions Ive seen are paranoid delusions.  I would guess those are the more common among people with PD, but Iím certainly no expert.

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bruceli

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Re: Delusional behavior
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2018, 08:46:51 PM »
IMO, I look at it more as delusional thinking because the behaviors are still the same. My pwPD thinks that she has changed so much in the last 3 months since she has discovered that she is PD. Yet in reality, there is absolutely no change in her behavior at all in as much as she is displaying the same behaviors now, in real time, that she was displaying this same time last year.
One will never fulfill their destiny or truly be free, until they can let go of the illusion of control.

Fair doesn't mean equal and best doesnít mean good.

They could see me walk on water, and they would say it is because I can not swim.

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Latchkey

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Re: Delusional behavior
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2018, 11:25:58 PM »
Look up the LEAP method.
Listen Empathize Agree Partner

Itís a set of tools to help with situations like you are describing. I used it with a teen stepson who became psychotic but it can be applied for less than full blown psychosis to help get a person to get medical help

Something like, Iím happy to get you new gloves. Letís go together to get winter gear. Do you need some new boots as well since you have some temporary swelling? We can get something just to get you through the next couple weeks ...

Just some thoughts.. I donít know all details but basically you have to work with the delusion because they believe it to be true and if they see you are working with them they can start to figure a way to feel better -
Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.
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There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
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When we have the courage to do what we need to do, we unleash mighty forces that come to our aid.

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bruceli

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Re: Delusional behavior
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2018, 06:16:24 PM »
Look up the LEAP method.
Listen Empathize Agree Partner

Itís a set of tools to help with situations like you are describing. I used it with a teen stepson who became psychotic but it can be applied for less than full blown psychosis to help get a person to get medical help

Something like, Iím happy to get you new gloves. Letís go together to get winter gear. Do you need some new boots as well since you have some temporary swelling? We can get something just to get you through the next couple weeks ...

Just some thoughts.. I donít know all details but basically you have to work with the delusion because they believe it to be true and if they see you are working with them they can start to figure a way to feel better -

Hmmm, how would one use this when it's the often common delusion of, " I see the way you undressed that woman/guy with your eyes! You're F'ING them/want to F them"! To play along with this one could be catastrophic.
One will never fulfill their destiny or truly be free, until they can let go of the illusion of control.

Fair doesn't mean equal and best doesnít mean good.

They could see me walk on water, and they would say it is because I can not swim.

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Latchkey

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Re: Delusional behavior
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2018, 12:09:38 AM »
Quote
Hmmm, how would one use this when it's the often common delusion of, " I see the way you undressed that woman/guy with your eyes! You're F'ING them/want to F them"! To play along with this one could be catastrophic.

When I've used the LEAP method it usually was a shared goal of getting someone who was suffering from psychosis or paranoia or delusions to either get help or to participate in something.

This method was developed to deal with Schizophrenia but has been adapted to other situations. In Schizophrenia the goal is often to get the sick person to get help, to stay on meds, to basically do what is needed so as not to hurt themselves or hurt someone else or worse.

Honestly in your situation you could use the LEAP method if there was a shared goal of enjoying going out together socially or going to specific events with specific people. It sounds like your PwPD's delusions interfere with her enjoyment of social events. I guess it's up to you if you can handle the Agree part of it. You can agree to disagree but work toward a common goal of enjoying going out to social events together.

The Agree part of it is the hardest always - i.e. "I think people are listening to our conversations through the floorboards"  "My pants are all shrinking and so are the desks in my classroom" The book I read years ago, "I'm not sick, and I don't need help" by Dr. Xavier Amador explains the way this all works.

http://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/the-leap-approach/

How can I have a realistic conversation with him about a) he should see a Dr b) we should hire someone to help with snow removal this winter, etc....

I brought the LEAP method up because the OP was asking about ways to help her and her PDH with a shared goal of getting the driveway shoveling done. He seemed to want to get the shoveling done but wasn't able to connect the dots between his swollen feet and needing to see the Dr. Often you have to do things in small steps.



Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.
-Mother Jones
-
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
-Maya Angelou
-
When we have the courage to do what we need to do, we unleash mighty forces that come to our aid.

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11JB68

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Re: Delusional behavior
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2018, 01:05:14 AM »
Thx all 3 of you for your thoughts. All helpful. One of the things I love about this forum is there is no one right answer...it's all food for thought.
Latchkey, I like the idea of leap, I'll do some more research on it. I have some misgivings about using it with uPDh, but maybe with some modifications. Bruceli...I feel your pain, and at the same time I'm grateful....I don't think my uPDh goes to quite the extremes your SO does.

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Spygirl

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Re: Delusional behavior
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2018, 05:42:49 PM »
This is a really interesting conversation, as my H has paranoid delusions and I discovered quite accidentally , that if I sorta played along it went better to a point.

I'm going to look up this method and see if I can get enough of a handle on it to have it  me in my interactions with him because he is really irrational often.