Itís finally happening...

  • 10 Replies
  • 246 Views
*

Satya

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 91
Itís finally happening...
« on: December 05, 2018, 09:23:04 PM »
This is it. Itís finally happening. Iím moving into my new apartment this weekend. I feel overwhelmed with emotions. Part of me is so so excited for my new life. Another part of me feels so depressed thinking about leaving my husband. Iím for sure not going to miss the abuse, but Iím going to miss all the cute things he does. Iím going to miss laughing with him. Iím just so devastated. And part of me is just so terrified of the unknown. My life is wide open before me and itís exciting and itís scary.

*

11JB68

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 572
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2018, 12:16:51 AM »
Very exciting, best wishes in your new place!

*

blunk

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 518
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2018, 01:49:20 PM »
Congratulations on your new place!

It is certainly exciting, and a bit scary at the same time.

I remember feeling so many emotions once I was finally away from my BPDxh, but I also remember feeling a new sense of peace in my home...I didn't dread leaving work at the end of the day anymore.

Good luck, wishing you a wonderful future.

*

Satya

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 91
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2018, 02:03:59 PM »
Thank you so much! <3

*

Whiteheron

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 2146
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2018, 08:40:35 PM »
Good luck to you and hugs! :hug:
It's a big step, but it can also be so freeing. What I love about my new place is the peace. Just peace. No eggshells, no raging, no accusations, no dirty looks. Just peace. The unknown is big and scary. One step at a time, one day at a time. You've got this!
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

*

Satya

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 91
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2018, 12:04:18 PM »
Thank you Whiteheron!

Today is the day. Iím having so many mixed feelings. Feeling sad to let go of the relationship. Devastated that it didnít work out. Excited about being free and having a peaceful home to live in. Scared I wonít actually be able to pull this off. But mostly, just relieved.

*

Whiteheron

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 2146
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2018, 02:19:26 PM »
You can pull this off. You'll actually surprise yourself with what you're able to do on your own. I was feeling like a failure one day and a close friend said to me, "whiteheron, just look at how far you've come. A few moths ago, did you ever imagine you'd be where you are today?" I told her no. I could never imagine I'd be a working single mom. Why? Because stbx told me I couldn't do it without him, that there was no way I could make it out in the 'real world' on my own. But you know what? He was wrong.

Focus on what's going right - the peace, the freedom, making your new home as comfortable as you can. Whenever you find your thoughts leaning towards the sad - just acknowledge them and then remind yourself of a few good things about your new situation. I like that I can relax. No one is going to yell at me to get off my rear and do something. I can just sit and...be. It's wonderful.

I went to the local discount store and bought a few things that make me smile - holiday towels for the bathroom, for example. This was never allowed with stbx. Every time I see them it makes me smile.  I'm making this place my own and regaining a sense of myself. It takes time, so be patient. You will get there too!
:hug:
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

*

Satya

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 91
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2018, 04:12:21 AM »
You can pull this off. You'll actually surprise yourself with what you're able to do on your own. I was feeling like a failure one day and a close friend said to me, "whiteheron, just look at how far you've come. A few moths ago, did you ever imagine you'd be where you are today?" I told her no. I could never imagine I'd be a working single mom. Why? Because stbx told me I couldn't do it without him, that there was no way I could make it out in the 'real world' on my own. But you know what? He was wrong.


Thank you so much for your kind words!

Itís so funny what you wrote about him not thinking you could make it on your own. I left a note when I left today while he was at work. My Stbx has been blowing up my phone with calls and text messages since he got home and saw it. Not one message has been a question about the one financial tie we have (bank account/credit card). Not one message has been an apology. Not one message has been regarding the legal matters of divorce. Every message has been expressing his ďconcernĒ about whether or not Iím safe and okay. How Iím going to pay for all this. What about all my medical bills? He wants to know where I am. He keeps asking me that over and over again. But I refuse to tell him even what city Iím in. I donít trust him and Iím getting really icky vibes from all this.

*

Whiteheron

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 2146
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2018, 10:49:13 AM »
Ahh yes. The fake concern. My stbx insisted he come over to inspect my new place to make sure it was "suitable." No thanks. I think he may have even complained about that in a court document - that I refused to allow him to approve of my new place. It's all about control. This is my safe place, he is not allowed to intrude. I still get the creepy vibes from him - told my L he is in no way to come near my place, that I wouldn't be able to handle it. Kid exchanges occur elsewhere.

You are wise to be suspicious of his motives.

I hope you're enjoying your new place!


You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

*

Satya

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 91
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2018, 11:43:45 AM »
Yes Whiteheron! He wanted to make sure my place was nice. And it was such a shame I left without saying goodbye because he would have helped me get a place and move my stuff. Iím perfectly capable of doing this myself. Iím a grown woman. And Iím grateful not to be in his debt!

Last night was rough. I didnít sleep well. But I am the kind of person who always needs time to adjust to a new living situation, to get a routine and feel comfortable. And getting used to all the creaks and noises. But I do like my new place. Hardwood floors. Lots of natural light. It feels very ďmeĒ and Iím looking forward to decorating it!

*

Spygirl

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 216
Re: Itís finally happening...
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2018, 12:48:21 PM »
I wish you months of deep, restful sleep. Quiet
No raised voices
No worries about coming home.
No need to keep things a certain way
Long hot baths with fragrance
Many healing, flushing, tears

Peace.......