Nightmares and ‘Mummy’

[Lillith65]

Last night I woke the house up (and probably the neighbours) shouting 'Mummy, mummy, mummy' over and over. This is odd because I never, ever called her Mummy when I was a child or adult.

I think that being NC has focused the feelings of abandonment and hostility that I experience(d) and perhaps this is my inner child screaming out.

I am not sure what to do about this, if anything and my therapist is also on vacation this month. How have others handled their nightmares and feelings?

[Starboard Song]

Oh gosh. There is no easy way.

I suspect one thing is to be really honest about what you are feeling: give it a name. "I am feeling worthless and hated because...." or whatever. Mindfulness meditation encourages this sort of honest reflection, and it is harder than you think to say to yourself what exactly you are feeling.

I think you have to accept that your feelings are real and reasonable. Let them happen. Watch them happen. But don't stop on the bad. Hopefully, you can do a lot more truth telling that is positive: observe all that is good and right. Tell yourself about all your good parts.

I had to think by analogy: if these two people had died in a car accident we'd have moved on easily by now. These two people -- whole NC in another state -- have been more present in my mind than our dear sweet loving grandmother who died three years ago. Realizing I want to spend more time thinking about those I love and who love me helped.

You will get there. Don't rush it. Don't rush yourself. Grief is real and demands to be dealt with.