Social skills and confidence?

[sambellscoup]

Does anyone else here really struggle socially? I struggle with expecting people to treat me the way PD people have done. When I'm around people I'm constantly worried I'm doing something wrong. I feel like other people are right to judge me and I'm right to feel shame because of it. I don't know what it's like to enter a social setting expecting it to go well.

Additionally I'm on the autism spectrum so I have extra difficulties in this area as it is.

Has anyone had a lot of confusion over socialising and how to trust other people and themselves in social gatherings? Has anyone had success overcoming their problems and making friends and connections more easily?

[1footouttadefog]

I have had some catching up to do after coming Out of the FOG.  It was as if I stepped I to the twilight zone and stepped out later, decades later.  I had not matured as I should have emotionally.  My life had been spent reacting to crisis and barely surviving the daily stressors.

When I came Out of the FOG I realized my life had stagnated and I was a perpetual 18-20 year old.  I at first tried to start where I left off.  Then my outofthefog. Net informed self realized many of my old goals and standards and measures of myself had been set by or heavily influenced by pds.

Additionally some were things I had aged out of.  Either way I had the right to be free to discover the real me and move on in life from where I found myself at that moment free from any baggage of my own or belonging or given to me by others.

This included relationships.  I set out to discover where I stood socially on my own two feet I did several things.

One was to interact with groups related to a specific interest.  I observed people and watched for pd traits.  I looked at who seemed nice and who seemed less so.

Being able to interact on a limited group activity basis seemed like socializing I. Training  wheels, there was little risk of compete rejection and I could see how I worked in groups in my own.

So much of my identity had been as part of a couple and a high percentage of my time had been spent with the pd pack, so havi g this chance to be out and about was great for gaining self confidence again.

Recently  A podcast called "crappy friends" was mentioned elsewhere in this forum
  I thi k it would serve as an entertaining way to examine yourself related to social issues.  I found it reassuring that things that matter to me in friendships are normal despite what the pds would have said otherwise.  I also have a chance to evaluate myself for weaknesses or bad habits or fleas that need to be guarded against.