new to all this

[Ilostmyself]

hi everyone,
hope i landed in the right spot here.
not sure these days what is real and whats not
living 900 degrees of hell and thinking I just learned something about my common law partner that I really didn't want to.
been together for 8 rocky years and feeling very lost and alone.
recently tossed him out and change locks when he stole money from me and then gave it back as rent money.
I dont want this to be happening but I have read and studied so much in the past three months that I think(know) that this has to be real
I hope I am in the right place
I cant keep living with my own thoughts alone and no one understanding

[Summer Sun]

Welcome to Out of the FOG, Ilostmyself, although sorry for what you've been through that has brought you here.  It can be a shock to the system when the lightbulb clicks.  Know you are not alone, many here just get it, are where you are or have been there and are at various stages of healing from our PD experiences and learning. 

Knowledge of the traits, behaviors is helpful, as well, review the toolbox, all excellent resources for deepening our understanding.  The 3 C's are instrumental, knowing we didn't cause the situations or PD behaviors, we cannot change or control others, nor do we hold the cure.

Settle in, have a look at the forums and we look forward to having you participate. 

Summer Sun

[Ilostmyself]

where do i go from here or what happens next. do i just pour my heart out here or....?
not sure about it all

[pushit]

where do i go from here or what happens next. do i just pour my heart out here or....?
not sure about it all

What worked for me was to research as much as I could and figure out what works for my situation.  Every PD is different, and every non-PD's situation is different so not all symptoms or experiences you read about will apply to you.

Check out the Toolbox, read threads, and share as much as you wish.  We're all dealing with the same thing, it's a community of people who understand what you're dealing with because we're in the same boat.  You're free to vent, complain, anything.  We get it, we'll hear you out, and offer advice and support.

Best of luck and welcome.  It's a long road but you've taken the first step, and you should be proud of that.

[bloomie]

Ilostmyself - Hi and welcome. I am glad you have joined us and so sorry that things have come to this in your relationship.

You ask what is next... you might want to spend some time looking through the info at the tabs above and then a board that would be supportive to you may be the Separating and Divorcing board where others who are going through break ups are having some great conversations.

Do you believe your ex partner was showing signs of suffering from a personality disorder (PD)? Though we cannot diagnose another, we can identify traits that may point to the possibility of a PD and that can open up a whole new understanding that can be helpful as we heal.

Do you have in real life support? A group of friends and/or family, a therapist, mentor relationship... people to support and surround you right now as you grieve the loss of this relationship? I truly hope that you do and if you do not, I hope that you will begin to build that into your life as well as sharing here. Living with someone who possibly has a PD or other serious issues can be very isolating and lonely. So, keep coming back and sharing as you are able to lighten the load.

I look forward to supporting you and seeing you around the forum boards!

[GentleSoul]

Hello, I Lost Myself.  I very much relate to your user name.  Glad you are here and reaching out to like minded people for support.