Hi and thank you

[survivorcat]

Intro: I married into a narcissistic family 25 years ago and the crazy-making came to a head two years ago. The details and whys are weird and horrible (aren't they always). Found a decent therapist, but mostly is was a lot of personal and marital work over a two year period for my spouse and I to be okay and accept each other's choices as individuals.  I am no contact with the entire family. My husband and adult children are limited contact. I may get to limited, but I'm not ready for it. The boundary setting and self-respect that came out of all of it is simply revolutionary. I am a happier person. The loss keeps rolling, however. I find that I am needing to even change relationships outside this dysfunctional family. Not all are accepting and supportive of my no contact decision and I know more boundary breakers than I had initially thought—It's a second blow.

[Goldielocks]

Hi Survivorcat, It's such a big deal to go no contact completely and I also found that it didn't stop there.  It is a huge eye-opener to realise that a lot of people cannot respect our decision. These days, I'm very, very choosy about who I share my story with. Those who understand are few and far between.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the forum,

my MIL is a difficult person, who may be a uPD.  in the ten years my DH and i have been together, we've been the GC to the scapegoat to inbetween with his other siblings (3).  it's a rough road and had i already not had some awareness of PD/ uPD, it would have been even harder.  i'm VLC with MIL and if my husband tells me something about her latest drama/ goings on, i try to not let it upset me and keep telling myself as long as she's not making us solve her problems for her we can't judge her life choices.  i hope you find as much validation and support here as i have.

hope to see you on the boards soon-