Hi there. Still wiping fog off my glasses

[TurmericAndHoney]

So I've finally figured out that I am not the defective person I thought I was, that I did not singlehandedly create my crappy life ("Take responsibility! Don't play the victim!"), and that my mother is no saint. Oh dear. At least I can stop feeling guilty for avoiding her most of the time nowadays. She looks, walks, and talks like a person with paranoid personality disorder, which would explain quite a lot. 
It's some small comfort and relief to know that a whole bunch of stuff I thought was my fault, never was my fault.

[coyote]

Hi Tumericand honey,
Welcome to Out of the FOG. There is a board specifically on dealing with PD parents. The Toolbox is a great place to spend time in also.  You will find this a supportive and understanding community. Once again welcome!

[guitarman]

Welcome. You are not alone.

It can be very freeing to realise that you are not responsible for anyone else's behaviour. You can't change or control them. You can only change or control your own behaviour.

I learnt about the three Cs here. I didn't cause it. I can't cure it. I can't change it.

Best wishes

guitarman X

[TurmericAndHoney]

Thank you for the welcome!