something old something new

[ladymoonracer]

I was originally here about 10 years ago. Several acquaintances from then referred to me as LMR. At that time spouse had received a dx after spending 5 weeks in the psych ward. He promised he would never invade this site since it had become a safe place for me. He later violated his word, initially telling me quite aggressively that I had violated him in some nonsense sort of way but later he confessed that he only came because he couldn't stand not knowing what I had written about him.We have lived separate lives in the same household since then. Right now I'm getting the divorce documents together to file asap. I guess I'm here to see if I can still fit in with people who have similar experiences in life.

[SonofThunder]

Hello ladymoonracer, and a warm welcome once again to Out of the FOG!  You were here prior to my arrival, but I always look forward to new online acquaintances.

I am currently separated, on the PD slow road to divorce. Seems to in the PD playbook to drag this process out legally, to glean as much control feed as possible.  Im certain my PDstbx would do the same, so I am keeping all my battle plans hidden, 'holding my cards close' as they say in poker.  I fully recommend that certainly to anyone in a relationship of any kind with a PD, and especially if divorcing one. 

My stbx is using her lawyer and her legal role as defendant (yes we nons will be the plaintiff most times) as it well aligns with the Karpman drama 🔺 roles even through a divorce.  PD's work hard to be the victim, therefore defendant is a perfect spot for them to reside on the way out.  In my case, there is another reason to make me the plaintiff, and that is workload.  I will do ALL the work in the divorce as the plaintiff (as also in my three decades of marriage) yet my state in the USA will divide my estate as best possible, 50/50. Oh well, peace is priceless!!  Lol, my stbx never once read a book on marital improvement but has devoured many now on getting the most in divorce.  That fact alone is the only fact necessary to show motive for 30 years of marriage; of my life.  Motive is everything.

As you are now back on the Out of the FOG hiking trails with us, as we all walk together, please see the Toolbox tab at the top right as a refresher and again, please protect those battle plans, as is also said,  'loose lips sink ships', and I certainly don't desire my Out of the FOG comrades battles to be thwarted. That Toolbox tab is where you want to drive your tent posts and camp, absorbing the provided materials.

We always leave at least one chair open around the campfire discussions at the forum boards.  Please cozy yourself right into our friendly gatherings along the trail, make yourself at home, slip off those hiking shoes and rest your tired feet near the friendly fires of topical conversation.  See you around the boards!

SoT

[ladymoonracer]

Thanks for the return welcome. My situation is different than standard.  Since my last attendance here I have become disabled and unable to live fully independently (nasty MVA caused by an impaired driver on his learner's permit). So I have been hiding out in the extra suite in this house. I interact with him as little as possible but I still know when he's home by the overall atmosphere of the house. I'm blessed today that he returns to work for a short shift. He's a driver who had someone run in front of him 10+ months ago. Because of his mental health issues, it took longer than it should to return to work. So hopefully everything is going to go as planned and he'll return to work full-time in 2 weeks. During his time off, I had to keep reminding myself, "He's not worth going to jail over, he's not worth. . .", because he tried to find any excuse possible to try to get into my life.

I'm just coming out of my own latest depression, a lifelong problem for me. I just reconnected with another zoom support group that I used to attend, and I am here. I'm working on my own proficiency skills to be able to return to work so that hopefully I can return to my own work and become more independent, maybe reaching a point of being fully on my own.

Thanks again for the return welcome. I'll probably sit back and lurk awhile until I remember the flow of how everything works here.