Almost funny

[11JB68]

This is almost funny. And sort of leans to ocd vs ocpd. UOCPDh had a biz, works from home. IMO (and others) he under earns.  He also (IMO) wastes a lot of timeon tasks that he is obsessing over that add no value. Also lots of double standards. We each have an office in our home, but I go out to work. The paper recycling box lives in my office. Lately h has been reorganizing his office. I come home from work today and box is overflowing with cut up and bent manila folders. A mess. I gather them and go to put them in the outdoor recycling barrel. UOCPDH is outside on the porch. He sees me and immediately is upset, tells me not to as it's part of his story about his day. I put them back. He proceeds to showand tell how he used math to make his own boxes with theused manila folders. He cut back on hours with his largest client partly to have more time to work on growing his biz in other directions. While I was at work, this is how he spen't his time.

[Whiteheron]

Oh my 

[Codeep]

Awwww.  I haven't followed your posts to really understand how bad he is but it reminded me of the movie a Beautiful Mind.

My H is now retired and we have school age kids which gives him most of the time from 8:00 on every day to do what he wants.  He does not produce to support the family. His idea of helping out is dishes, weekly grocery shop (but doesn't buy anything with a thought of dinner except for Mondays which he buys from the grocery deli), standing at bus stop with our 10 y.o. in our front yard (which is unnecessary) and picking up after school.  And he helps do our taxes once a year.  He doesn't do them.  He helps.  He does help organize the kids lives.  But often directs me like - you need to make the kids annual appointments.  The man had post-graduate education and could easily do so much himself.  We have a home with all the regular maintenance, cleaning and organizing requirements, two school age kids and two dogs.  I am in professional services so my work is never done and I have a long commute.  It can be maddening but I just compartmentalize and move along with my days, weeks and life.

[11JB68]

I'm revisiting this post of mine from almost a year ago. A year ago he decided to cut back his hours with his biggest client in order to focus on ways to grow his biz in other directions.
This post showed how he spent one of those days.... Well he's done nothing in this arena in a year. Obsessing over a database that he's managing for himself... That's how he has spent his 'free' time. (And I'm pretty sure that project has been ongoing since 2013!)
Now he's had a heart attack, wants to either quit the biggest client or drastically cut his hours and still has no plan b.
We argued about this back in (March 2018?) When he said he wanted to quit this client and I asked what his plan b was and he was irate with me for asking that as it meant I want being supportive!
Ugh his sense of entitlement amazed me...

[SparkStillLit]

Omg I can't ask what plan b (or q or w or z) is either, or what his plan even is, or ANYTHING, because it means I'm not "being supportive" either, and it turns into a HUGE ARGUEMENT. I have completely stopped this conversation, even though ANY kind of meaningful employment has been absent since... September?....and we are nearing the end of our savings.

[GettingOOTF]

About two years after I divorced my MiL died. I was talked into meeting with my ex as he wanted to give me something of hers.

I hadn't been in contact with him for a while. He'd been offered a job recently which he didn't get. We are divorced, hadn't been in contact and he still blamed me not being supportive enough for his not getting the job. His blowing off the interview has nothing to do with it of course. Sitting there listening to him tell me this I realized that he was never going to get it together, and it was never my fault. There was nothing I could possibly have done to influence his behavior in one direction or the other.

He is still in his small, dead end job feeling like the world, led my home, is out to get him.