When they are just not interested

[11JB68]

I've had a rough couple weeks at work. Mostly in the evening I keep my side of the how was your day routine brief... I.e. 'fine, busy'  etc. But tonight I actually shared a couple of stories about my week. It's so clear that uPDh has no interest in listening to me. Not that he has anything important to do...watch YouTube, or tv...he's just plainly not interested. Pretty much the message I get is 'are you done yet?'. Yet of he has an issue, I have to listen to it for days, and listen to him tell others about it in my presence...

[Poison Ivy]

I think there's a book called "He's Just Not That Into You." I think this applies to my ex-husband.  It's not so much that he actually dislikes me.  (And he still claims that our marriage was the best thing that ever happened to him; I'll reserve judgment on that claim.)  But really, it seems that he stopped being interested in me and my life (if he ever was) a long time ago.

[looloo]

I can't be sure, but I really suspect that my exH has at most, a very dim overall memory of our relationship and marriage.  Kind of like, he is aware that it did happen, but wouldn't be able to recall any events or dates, or things I said or did or was interested in.  He was literally stoned the entire time!  So if he does choose to think back, he probably just paints himself as a victim and me as a horrible unfair person, but I doubt he can go any further than that.

[Samuel S.]

In my situation, my PDw told me she pretended (her words) to be interested throughout her life, including with me. I have always shown her authentic interest, care,love, and support ever sinc day one of our relationship. Now that we have been married almost 18 years, she has decided to abandon intimacy, emotional and sexual. While she goes through the motions by preparing meals which she complains about, she goes to work which she complains about, and she complains about all the studying she feels compelled to do.

Interesting enough, she is the same person who complained about her first husband not being interested in a family life by being out of their home so much. I am a family man.when I brought that to her attention, she said: "Now, I know why he did what he did". If I were to complain like she did, I would have hell to pay, that she doesn't have time for herself, that she isn't able to follow her dreams, that I supposedly stopping her from fulfilling her dreams. Well, I support her need to fulfill whatever she wishes, but she is compulsive and self-serving only. I am only good to pay the majority of our bills.

Bottom line, our PDs are only interested in themselves. They put on this big front in order to get what they want. They are only interested in us, if they can get what they want from us. They also really can't stand intimacy, because that means they have to be close.

[Mary]

I'm sorry it's been rough going at work. I hope you can find a good friend to laugh about the garbage with--at work and at home.
Mary

[11JB68]

Thanks Mary!