Out of the FOG

Coping with Personality Disorders => Friends, Neighbors, Acquaintances and Coworkers => Topic started by: me01t on May 22, 2019, 06:35:36 AM

Title: Accused of lying
Post by: me01t on May 22, 2019, 06:35:36 AM
Is being accused of lying for things which happened common with PD people? I was being harassed by a now ex friends girlfriend. By harassed I mean shouting across the street, Heckling at me when she drove past, Staring at me and gossiping etc. I bought this up with him eventually and said I would never want to do anything that made another women feel that way, He said he would speak to her and then started ignoring me and telling me I am crazy. He also said that all never happened and that i lie to play the victim. It is such an invalidating feeling, I know I shouldn't care, but why am I being made out to be the bad guy so much.
Title: Re: Accused of lying
Post by: Penny Lane on May 24, 2019, 09:07:20 AM
That sounds like gaslighting to me. There's some info here (https://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/gaslighting) that might be helpful if you want  to learn more.

So sorry you went through that, it can be truly mind-bending.
Title: Re: Accused of lying
Post by: helpmeplease on May 30, 2019, 02:25:40 AM
What I think is going on here, is that he has been saying stuff about you to her, probably trying to make her jealous and insecure in their relationship, trying to make her compete, making her feel less than. He may have been saying he is going out with you or you fancy him or something. Then because you asked him about it he is panicking and starts twisting things blaming you so he gets away with his triangulation. Keep away from him, don't react. Think what it might be like for his girlfriend. It sounds as if he is torturing her too. Don't get involved though have nothing to do with ANY OF THEM.
Title: Re: Accused of lying
Post by: helpmeplease on May 30, 2019, 04:07:47 AM
sorry the last three words should not have been in capitals, it was a mistake.
Title: Re: Accused of lying
Post by: me01t on June 01, 2019, 09:55:47 AM
Thanks i did wonder this but had doubts because of how his best also seemed to be playing a part in adding his opinion to this despite the fact we have only ever had one conversation! However, as you say, staying away seems wise!