Can this feeling I have be Mental exhaustion?

[Roza]

I think I just maybe mentally exhausted.  I have been the SG for most of my life and I was the major caretaker of my parents when they got older and sick. The sisters only helped if they HAD to.  I was the stupid one that did everything, and still got called all sorts of things.  My parents were not the best.  They argued everyday of my life.  As a child I tried to be happy kid and keep my sisters ok.  Bcz I was the oldest, I got the duty and responsibility for everything.
My sisters didn't have to d 1/2 the things I did.  My mom had NPD, it was always about her. Everything was about her, how people saw her, what they think of her, we kids had to look good all the time. Both parents were hoarders, it took 6 months to empty out their first house to sell it after my dad passed.  Sure one of my sisters came to help out.   After mom died, I was at her other house trying to clean up, it was a mess again.  She had 7 mirrors hidden in her room.  Come on 7???  I was the one that was in charge of the finances.  She would yell at me a tell me to go to the bank bcz she needed money, I did it.  I don't care what she did with it, it was hers to do what she wanted. NPD mom was not going to make life for me.  I paid for all her meds, doctors, visits, and groceries with her money of course.  Her meds were a small fortune.  I would communicate all this to my sisters, they just figured I will handle it and its all good.  Well now after mom passed all they want is the money.  Saying I  took her money. I did not.  Neither sister made good life choices and now the mom bank is closed. 
They are saying the I have changed, yes, I have I am taking care of ME for once in my life.  I am putting myself first.  What is wrong with that?  I am just so tired, drained, I just want them to leave me alone.  I told them they should look at their own lives an leave me alone and my family. 

[SerenityCat]

I feel for you, you've been through a tough time. Now you can focus on your own well being.

If possible, this is a good time to get a physical check up, tell your health care person what you are experiencing, and see what they say.

You may find help and support through a therapist too. Sometimes even a few sessions can help immensely.

You can try applying Medium Chill for your sisters. https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/medium-chill

When others try to draw you into their drama and chaos you are a bored and dull listener. You are there, just not present or terribly involved. Never show anger or compassionate involvement; paying attention but not too much attention. Don't offer any advice or opinions of your own. Don't try to solve their problems. You are simply not involved.

If someone is angry and manages to get you angry they have successfully projected and transferred their anger to you. Take your leave as soon as possible in cases of anger or rage. Simply and calmly leave or end the phone call.

When others lash out, show no anger. When others are nice, don't reciprocate. Be distant and flat in both cases. When others can't easily manipulate a reaction, they tend to leave you alone.

You don't have to answer the phone when they call. If in a phone conversation with them, you always have the right to just end the call. If talking in person, you always have the right to just walk away.

[Roza]

Thank you for the kind words, I am doing just that.  I am trying to stay away from them.  They are so draining. I see that they are doing the same as my NPD mom  its all them all the time, me,me,me,me. Sad.

[SerenityCat]

I had to get away from my abusive family too. I ended up so exhausted and thought I was a bad person - when really I just needed to get away from them. I was in therapy for awhile to help me cope with my childhood.

It does get better. I'm so happy that I finally left the abuse behind and chose my own healing. I wish you well on your own healing journey.

[Roza]

SerenityCat,
Thank you for the beautiful words of encouragement. I have to admit since finding this forum I have actually been feeling a little better.

[PeanutButter]

Good morning Roza You are doing great. Its understandable that you would be mentally exhausted.
I know for me, once I was 'safe' (moved over 800 miles from foo) it all seemed to catch up with me. I had compartmentalized the abuse because I couldnt acknowledge anything was wrong and continue to perform my role (i was scapegoat/invisible) So once I broke free it all started surfacing. It was distracting from my 'new beginning' which was a really wonderful opportunity. Dont get me wrong I enjoyed being 25 minutes from the beach. But even living in a dream location, a dark cloud hovered nearby me always. For several years I had nightmares every single night. My dh would wake me up when I cried aloud in my sleep because my foo were tormenting me there. Sometimes i thought this is it, I will always be like this they've ruined my life. But little by little its got better and better.
Its been alot of hard work. It is worth it because like you I want to break the cycle.