Wow, we really got an opportunity to practice answering the kids' questions

[hhaw]

I like the idea of having attorneys fire off letters to the PD and opposing counsel.  It's one way of documenting the facts, in case of future litigation.

When I was in court with PDs I was told to document every tiny infraction through police reports.  Honestly, I think filing those reports saved me in many ways.

In GA we could file what was called a "courtesy report" which documents, and doesn't call for any police action. 

Judges expect their Orders be complied with.  They frown deeply on people refusing to comply, IME.

[Penny Lane]

I thought I'd come back and update you all on how this turned out.

As H and I were agonizing over this ... something came up for HER and she canceled the party. That up until that point had been unmovable. So, as we all knew all along, it wasn't a matter of "no other day works" but rather that she was trying to pick a fight.

BM told H at the very last minute that she had "rescheduled" the party. Fortunately we already knew (long story) and so had stopped stressing about it.

DSS also very sheepishly addressed this with us. I told him "good job using your problem solving skills!" He said "I didn't, mom did." We left it there. I hope he realizes the total contrast between her attitude when it was DH's plans that the party would interfere with, vs when it was her plans. I think he was at least thinking about it.

Certainly the next time she tries to take H's time, he will remind DSS of this time and say "it seems like you could use your problem solving skills again."

Anyway, crisis averted ... I kind of think she was looking for a way out of the showdown anyway, and thank goodness for that.

[hhaw]

Your ss is lucky to have two steady parents to balance out his mother's chaos.

[athene1399]

As happy as I am that DH didn't have to give up parenting time for BM's party, I'm still a little irked that in the beginning she implied that if SS didn't have this party it would be DH's fault. And guess what, no party because of BM. When this first came up BM of course acted like it would be the end of the world if this party didn't happen on this day. As you pointed out, hopefully the kids are starting to think about some of this stuff and make some connections. Hopefully they will start to see the stress BM creates and how you and DH are always more "it's no big deal, we will figure out a solution that works".

But crisis averted indeed!  I hope she doesn't reschedule her party on another one of DH's days.