What was the worst gift your PD parent ever gave you?

[bee well]

Recently I came across the first Christmas gift to me from MIL, after DH and I had moved in together - a "crumbcatcher." Basically a little  box that one can pass over the table after eating, to pick up the crumbs.

It sort of had my head shaking. I thought it was odd gift but DH explained that since she uses one she thought I must have one too. Okayyyy....Makes sense now...

[Nominuke]

A teenage me received a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Even more weird as my nDad had probably never read any kind of book in his life.

[sunshine702]

My Narc mom has "gifted" shares in stock (i think it was Home Depo) to the Scapegoat brother.  She held them though..and she wouldn't let him cash it in when he wanted.  The excuse oh it is going to go up some more you can't cash out now..(ever)

[JustKat]

My Narc mom has "gifted" shares in stock (i think it was Home Depo) to the Scapegoat brother.  She held them though..and she wouldn't let him cash it in when he wanted.  The excuse oh it is going to go up some more you can't cash out now..(ever)

I got this "gift" too. My father worked for a Fortune 500 company and one Christmas my Nmom gifted me with a piece of paper saying I had been given stock in the company, but there was no way to purchase the stock in my name so it was in my father's account earning money for me. Okayyyyy....

[Cat of the Canals]

MIL once gifted my husband savings bonds her parents had bought him all through his childhood. He was thirty years old, and she'd been keeping them a secret, for some reason. Then she revealed that she also had bonds in his brother's name, but told H not to tell him. His brother died last year, and I doubt he ever got those bonds.

[p123]

This year. I do his groceries then transfer the money (I have access) back to my account.
I think it came to £30 so he said "oh its your birthday next weekend isnt it? - Tell you what take an extra £20"

Then a smug look on his face as if its a fortune. (About $27). No card no effort. Gee thanks Dad.

[nanotech]

On Christmas Eve, a deliveryman knocked on our door with an enormous box. Our three year old was delighted because he believed Santa came early!

Inside was all my "stuff," including high school yearbooks and wedding presents she had insisted I register for and then had stored for me, shoved into a big wad and crazy-stuck into a huge piece of cardboard folded and taped every which way.

She had cut me off 8 months before.

No card, of course.

That's so awful 😞. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sending hugs xxxxx

[JustKat]

MIL once gifted my husband savings bonds her parents had bought him all through his childhood. He was thirty years old, and she'd been keeping them a secret, for some reason.

What? She gifted him with something that was already his to begin with? Arghhhhh...

[Leonor]

Thank you Nanotech, you are so kind!

Much  to all.

I kind of want to see the ugly leg thing, Cat. I'd start a Twitter thread, "Gifts My Crazy @#$& Mom Gave Me." I'm sure it would go completely viral and then we could laugh together at the just ridiculousness.

[Cat of the Canals]

Leonor, I absolutely regret not taking a picture now. I can't decide if my memory is making it more or less monstrous. 

What? She gifted him with something that was already his to begin with? Arghhhhh...

Yes, and it didn't even occur to me quite how ridiculous that was until I saw your post and sunshine702's about the stock "gifts."

[JustKat]

What? She gifted him with something that was already his to begin with? Arghhhhh...

Yes, and it didn't even occur to me quite how ridiculous that was until I saw your post and sunshine702's about the stock "gifts."

Cat, something similar happened to me that I'm just now realizing was pretty messed up. One Christmas my Nmother gave me a tiny gold locket with my name engraved on it. There was a note inside saying that my grandmother had given it to me for my Christening. I was at least 35 at the time I received this locket and had never seen it before. At the time I thought it was a great gift and was happy to have it. Now I look back on it and wonder my mother held onto it for 35+ years before regifting it back to me. I guess that's just how things were in my family. I never questioned it.

[donutmoonpanda]

Mom gave me a gift without realizing it was embroidered with my cousin's name. My cousin had passed away a few months earlier. Someone gave mom the item to remember her by. And she was passing it off to me as if it was something thoughtful she got me. So she regifted a death-inherited-memento.

[Dandelion]

4 or 5 pairs of well-worn greying old knickers my mother didn't want anymore.   .  Handed to me in a plastic bag on a rare visit to see me.  I was in my 40s, she in her 70s probably.  She generally didn't buy me gifts of any kind (though she could easily afford it). I remember being speechless!  Just staring confusedly, trying to comprehend...

[Leonor]

Oh I forgot the year my dad gave me a carton of cigarettes for Christmas. I was 21. 

[Kovera]

One of the worst gifts my covert narc mother gave me, I realize now, was so self absorbed I feel stupid for not realizing it at the time it happened. My birthday was coming up, and she said "I've always wanted to visit my sister in LA. We're going to do that on your birthday! That'll be my birthday present for you!" She didn't even ask me if I'd like to do that. Not a word or question of what I'd really want for my birthday, pretty much using it as an excuse to do something for herself.

So we spent about a week there in LA, and the whole time we were doing things she wanted. The two of them, her and her sister, were mostly ignoring me the whole time whilst gossiping about other family members. I was virtually just a third wheel, non-existent the entire time. Not once did she ask me if I was having fun, or if there was anything I wanted to do or see. It was all about her and her interests. What adds to the ridiculousness is that this was one of her family members she spends a lot of time insulting & gossiping about behind closed doors. The old me felt bad, guilty that if I were to speak up and ask for something I really wanted, it would mean I was "ungrateful" for having received a gift in the first place.

Another few "gifts" of hers that come to mind, as well as other weird occurences:
- she gave me an XXL hoodie for my birthday (another year) after I had successfully lost a bunch of weight (I was a size M)
- one year, a friendly co-worker of hers gave me a Christmas present, it was a mini picture frame. My mother told me who it was from, and then took it from me and instead used it for a photo of herself with the the golden grandchild.
- my covert narc mother gave me a holiday snow globe for my 10th birthday, one of the few times she actually gave me what I asked for. Several years later, she "forgot" it was mine and was giving it away as a Christmas gift to one of her in-laws kids.
- another birthday year, I was turning 12, narc mother asks my narc sister what to get me. My narc sister had her own interests in mind and suggested a Hello Kitty drawing kit. My narc sister then proceeds to attempt to keep some of the kit items for herself before giving it to me. She was apparently shopping for herself.
- on my 13th birthday, my malignant narc father used it as an excuse to start drinking again. Apparently celebrating with alcohol is what you do for a teenager's birthday. He was a lifetime alcoholic who pretended to quit drinking only 2 months before.

[foobarred]

The worst was probably a cheap little snow globe she got from Walgreens.  That year I'd put a lot of effort into getting gifts for her - clothes, jewelry, and good chocolate from Europe that she used to eat when she was living there.  She gave me nothing, told me none of the clothes fit, and left the chocolate and jewelry at my house - couldn't even be bothered to take it with her.  Next day she gives me the snow globe like it's a Faberge egg and starts raving about some cheap sh*t drugstore chocolate the cleaning lady got her, and how the cleaning lady was "so nice". 

That was the last Christmas where I tried - after that she just got a card and a box of See's candy every year.  Lately she hasn't even been eating the See's - when she moved to the NH we found three unopened boxes hidden away in various drawers. 

[Liketheducks]

At other's prompting......my mother made a birthday gift to me of two cards I'd given her 7 and 5 years ago..   Seven years ago being the nice one....and five years ago not.  (Truth, it wasn't unkind.....it was just not as FOGGY or effusive about love and best mom ever).   This birthday gift to me was to let me know that I must hate her to treat her thusly.    Happy Birthday to me.

[Breadroll]

4 or 5 pairs of well-worn greying old knickers my mother didn't want anymore.   .  Handed to me in a plastic bag on a rare visit to see me.  I was in my 40s, she in her 70s probably.  She generally didn't buy me gifts of any kind (though she could easily afford it). I remember being speechless!  Just staring confusedly, trying to comprehend...

Awful but very familiar! Not knickers in this case, but  brown disability slippers- the velcro straps kind- «  just like hers » with great glee and expectation of gratitude. I was in my 30s.

[Leonor]

 

What's so hard about a gift anyway? You go to the drugstore, get a card, a gift card and a little gift bag and presto! You don't have to mean it, and we'd be delighted.

There's the other extreme too
Grandiose narc mom used to buy ridiculously expensive clothing for my dh. He felt uncomfortable for his own issues and just donated them to the shelters. We'd always keep an eye out to see if we could catch a glimpse of crocodile leather loafers waltzing down the main street of our little Midwestern town 

[Boat Babe]

4 or 5 pairs of well-worn greying old knickers my mother didn't want anymore.   .  Handed to me in a plastic bag on a rare visit to see me.  I was in my 40s, she in her 70s probably.  She generally didn't buy me gifts of any kind (though she could easily afford it). I remember being speechless!  Just staring confusedly, trying to comprehend...

Awful but very familiar! Not knickers in this case, but  brown disability slippers- the velcro straps kind- «  just like hers » with great glee and expectation of gratitude. I was in my 30s.

My mother reminds me I'm old at everery opportunity. She loves it,!