"You're overthinking"

[loveandlight]

How do you deal with people saying that you're overthinking? It feels like a slap in the face... more invalidation...

Right on schedule I received a message from my ex on Easter. It was so textbook that had I not educated myself so much these past few months I would have seen it as a sign from above... and I would have replied and been super giddy and happy. Instead, adrenaline rushed my body... I didn't feel good at all... I felt mad.

At any rate, when I hear certain things now they automatically rub me the wrong way. A friend of  mine was explaining how her cousin was "acting so emotional and getting mad" because her boyfriend was pressing her to tell him what was wrong. I explained how sometimes people need a minute to cool off and maybe she wasn't ready to talk. You also don't know why she got upset.

"Yea but you should be open and talk to the person"

I told her how a previous ex was wanting to continue a fight even though I told him to just leave me alone. I had to run to the bathroom (the only locking door) to get away from him because he kept needling me and I just wanted it to stop... and his fist came through the door after me. She admitted that her cousin had bad relationships in the past, and I explained that unless her cousin healed what caused her to enter those relationships in the first place she's likely to repeat it again. The ignorance is ridiculous!

"You can't judge one relationship based on the last"

Yes, for someone isn't already primed to enter abusive relationships this is sound advice.

People really have no effing clue. They look at a person acting emotionally and automatically assume THEY are the problem. There really is so little known about emotional abuse...  and a lot of it is normalized. It's infuriating.

[Whiteheron]

People really have no effing clue. They look at a person acting emotionally and automatically assume THEY are the problem. There really is so little known about emotional abuse...  and a lot of it is normalized. It's infuriating.

Absolutely 100%