She is escalating

[RiverPurl]

She has escalated over the past number of weeks.  I can't give her what she's looking for.  I don't have it. She won't leave me alone. Her anger is unreal and intense. She's not looking for me to repair the relationship.  She wants me to give into her demands of explanations and acknowledgments.  I did that before but she didn't take it on board. She's not open in receiving any of this. She is full of hostility and hate and poison and revenge and punishment. 

[moglow]

Hey RiverPurl - I wish I had the magic pill that would take this away for you. I have a nodding acquaintance with irrational attacks like you're experiencing and it's truly debilitating.

Mother went/goes through similar cycles, blistering mad for no apparent reason and nothing I could say or do reached her. She wanted to be mad and was determined to drag others down into it. Let there be a moment of appeasement or seeming resolution on ilone subject and she'd barely draw breath before ramping up the next.

I learned years ago that anything you say or do will be held against you in the court of mommie dearest. Say anything and it's the wrong thing, all while she's demanding "answers" [to questions she never voiced]. But say nothing and "you just don't care" [well no, not about all this invented drama and chaos, no]. Simple admission that "I don't have the answers for you and don't have anything to say" was the kiss of death.


Fact is, she just needed her mad and demanded to be heard. For her than meant sitting there taking it all in while she spewed bile and venom all over you. There were/are no right answers, nothing to be done but remove myself. In my case she's not interested enough to pursue me on any level, so there's that.

For you, I truly wish your sister would find another target. None of that is yours or anything you could possibly fix for her - I can't help but think, surely she sees that on some level?? Like md, complete failure to acknowledge cause and effect, no recognition of her own behavior or how it just melts everything down around her.