He refuses to go!

[Juju]

My partner who suffers from anxiety to the point where he will not go beyond a half hour from home.  He has gone to my sons before (who lives a half hour away) but doesn't want to go to my birthday BBQ next week. My sons know he has anxiety problems but don't know the extent of them, he really will not do anything.I'm embarrassed to tell them how bad it is as I've broken up with him before because of it and now we are back together and everything goes great till something out of the ordinary happens!  My sons really like him and the son who lives a half hour away thinks he just won't go out there to his house because he doesn't like him or his wife. I told my partner it is embarrassing for me when he won't come with me and that I'm just going to come clean with my boys and tell them he will not go beyond his bubble and when he has he causes him great anxiety. Im' tired of making excuses for him and just want to tell them so they don't think it's them.
I'm angry with him and I got mad at him and now he is not talking to me.  What shall I do?  Should I tell them his problems or make another excuse for him???

[notrightinthehead]

In situations like this I have chosen honesty. This is something you can do nothing about and why would you lie? Also I would refuse feeling embarrassed about it. This really is not your responsibility nor anything you have control over or can change in the least. I would be totally open about it.

[sunshine702]

I agree I would be honest.  You don't have to go into the embarrassing gory details but a quick " I don't know if you known this but Man has Panic Disorder so traveling more than 30 min is tough.  Can we meet you at say (midpoint)?

I am sorry I understand the guilt/shame/anger / helplessness soup stuff like this is.  Big hug!!