In danger need help

John Wender · January 19, 2019, 06:49:35 PM

Hi all,

I haven't posted here in a while and am looking for any advice by people who may have gone through a similar thing.
Long story short I ended up going NC with malignant narcissist parents for 2 years but ended up going back to them and got commited to a mental hospital because I was suicidal and suffering psychosis, probably partly brought on by the abuse. Anyway Im out now and well (have recovered) and have been living with parents for the past 2 years - under their spell. Just recently the abuse has started again and now I'm extremely worried that they are going to try and get me commited to the hospital again, by saying I am threatening suicide or threatening to harm them by calling the police.

What can I do? Please help

symbasmommy · January 19, 2019, 07:00:12 PM

I am not a doctor but it seems like it's a cycle.... Try to contact someone outside of your family you trust... Try to diffuse them and the situation if you can... Stay neutral and if you can get out of the house without raising an alarm try to see a psychologist that you can get help from.... Best wishes to you.... I am sorry I couldn't help more...

Fightsong · January 20, 2019, 05:24:17 AM

Given your previous admission to hospital are you still in contact or care of the mental health team? Can they or your family doctor advise you how to physically move away? If not permanently then anyone you could go and stay with for a 'holiday?' Are you be able contact someone who can help you? Someone outside of your immediate family?

John Wender · January 20, 2019, 05:54:53 AM

Thanks for the responses. I am not under their care any more and there is no one outside of the family I could stay with - I am completely alone. I am also worried that if I tell my GP my thoughts he may side with my parents or get me admitted for being paranoid or something. If I move away they could easily call the police and tell them I am planning on suicide. What can I do?

Danden · January 20, 2019, 11:08:50 AM

John, you need support. You are not under the care of your previous mental health team anymore, but you need to contact one of them, someone who understands your problems and cares about you. Does one of your previous providers fit the bill? Call that person. If one of them "kinda" fits the bill, call them. If not, reach out to a friend or pastor. Or just start spending some more time out of the house or doing things that help you feel better.

You can move away without telling them where you are, and that would keep you safe from them. Are you prepared to do that, emotionally and psychologically? Even in that scenario, I think you need someone (or multiple someones) to turn to for support. If not, you will have to find a way to cope with the living situation you have.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have not gone through a similar thing, but I really think you need to find help and support, somehow. Take care of yourself.

Aingeal · January 20, 2019, 03:46:56 PM

So sorry you're dealing with this. My only idea is to check out Catholic Charities - they offer free counseling and resources. Also search for shelters or maybe contact the social worker where the mental health team was located? Social workers and also patient advocates have knowledge and access to lists of resources available for housing , food etc. That could help you. Maybe legal aid too. You do have rights.

Juniperberry · January 20, 2019, 04:30:40 PM

Are you working? Do you have a reliable income?

If so, you might consider moving out. If you are an adult with a verifiable income, you don't have to tell your parents about this until it's done, and having a steady job with a good performance and attendance record will look very good for you if the police knock on your door for a suicide check.

If not, I'd start there. Get a steady income coming in and save what you have to save to move out. No need to tell your parents this plan.

And I echo the above posters encouraging you to build back up your team. There are low-cost and free options available. Spend some quality time on google and find an option like that near you and call. Today.

daughter · January 21, 2019, 09:27:04 AM

When you were discharged from hospital, did you have a follow-up team to monitor your situation, including a therapist or psychologist? If so, that's the people perhaps to contact again, to discuss your parents and the abusive household situation. If not, I'd seek-out a reliable therapist or social worker in your community, and explain situation to gain advice and support.

John Wender · January 21, 2019, 04:38:41 PM

Thanks all for the help and advice. I think I'm going to get in contact with someone from my old mental health team and speak to them tomorrow. Maybe book an appointment with a solicitor. It's funny, now everything seems to be happy family at the moment (everyone's being especially nice), when just a couple of days ago I was living in fear and having sleepless nights. I don't know where I stand with these people.

I am currently working, but it's contract work and I could be out of a job in a couple of months. I don't want to end up homeless.

artfox · January 21, 2019, 08:51:17 PM

I'm sorry to hear this, John Wender. I don't have anything to add beyond everyone else's excellent advice. I've gotten a lot of good support here, and I hope you find that here as well. I'm glad you're here.

Yael924 · January 22, 2019, 01:27:06 PM

Ok John, you need to keep focusing on the next step. Baby steps are ok.

Worrying about the future of your work contract is what is keeping you stuck in a bad situation. (She wrote knowing she did something similar for years...) If you loose a contract you will get a new contract. Worry about that when you are in your new apartment bored and you can update your c.v.

You read like a good guy in a tough spot. You need to reach out to people who you can trust to make your goals a priority.

I'm sending positive vibes

John Wender · February 12, 2019, 01:37:07 PM

Hi guys,

Update on my current situation
Things are not good. I have sought legal advice and it seems there is nothing you can do to protect yourself from getting sectioned - you are at the whim of the Doctors. I spoke to my old care coordinator about my family problems, and although she is quite a nice woman she basically told me to just go and talk to my GP about it, and that I may be becoming unwell again. I won't be speaking to my GP about this as he will just assume i am becoming unwell again.

Although things seemed to have calmed down at home with family, my mum has recently instigated a campaign of sleep deprivation against me (she has done this before) by enlisting my brother and dad to keep me up throughout the night, they both sleep in rooms either side of me. I haven't slept at all in two nights now. On top of that I am being mobbed viciously in the workplace by colleagues and managment. People are now threatening physical violence against me and insinuating that I should kill myself. Im being tortured at both ends.

I'm losing hope. This site has kept me going so far, but it did give me the impression that there would be a better world out there. I have been harassed and abused pretty much everywhere I go, since the age of 25yrs onwards. Maybe I am a freak and dont belong in this world.

Sorry for the negative comment

MyLifeToo · February 12, 2019, 01:46:35 PM

In sorry to read of your troubles. You do need some professional help and advice; is there another GP you could speak to for a second opinion? Or are there any charities such as Mind, or Samaritans that you could ring in confidence (depending on what country you live in)? They might be able to help you formulate a way forward.

Take care, hope things improve for you very soon.

Sneezy · February 12, 2019, 02:35:49 PM

Quote from: John Wender on February 12, 2019, 01:37:07 PM
Maybe I am a freak and dont belong in this world.

John - You are not a freak and the world would be worse off without you in it. Please get immediate help. I know you are concerned about seeing your GP. But I am worried for you. Walk into a hospital and tell them everything you have told us on this forum. Someone will listen to the truth and help you. Sometimes it just takes several attempts to find the help you need. And know that there are people (many of whom you have never met) who care.

Yael924 · February 12, 2019, 11:36:06 PM

Oh John I am so sorry. What a horrid situation!

Are you allowed to go to a different GP? If not, I second the idea of going to a hospital.

If all that won't work, go to the "old GP". Be sure to remind him that he needs to listen and document what you report to him.
Can you go to a men's shelter to escape the abuse --- and get some sleep?
I'm keeping you in my thoughts