Encouragement welcome!

[RavenLady]

Hello fellow FOGgers. I'm preparing to try to do something brave, scary, and necessary this week. It will be a milestone in my relationship with my uPDm. I'm having to do quite a lot of self-care to keep my nasty old chronic illness symptoms in check and I can feel my whole body wanting to amp up in anxiety. I've got a pretty bad-ass set of practices in place to help me, especially around managing emotional flashbacks and the inner critic/perpetrator, but it's still a huge lift for me.

I have been working towards this moment for a long time and I know I can do it. I know I will come out the other side better off for it. It's just really hard in the meantime.

So I'd love to hear how y'all pep-talk yourself in times like these so I can continue to learn and gain inspiration from you!

Here's where I start: This is just a moment in time. It will pass. Fear is an energy that goes through my body. I am capable and experienced. I will keep learning and growing. I have boundaries to protect me.

I will take care of myself.

I'm still here.

I got out in time.

[Danie]

They're only feelings and feelings can't kill you.

I am strong and I can handle it.

I will stay centered and grounded.

[Andeza]

I can't fix her life. I won't waste any more time trying. I have better things to do. Nothing I suggest will ever be done anyway, so make no suggestions.

Her crap is her crap, not mine.

My time, is my time. I do not owe it to her. I will not give it to her endlessly.

I do not owe her anything.

...Whatever you're getting ready to do, we've got your back. Before you do it, get your favorite candles, bubble bath (or bath salts), and music ready for when you come home so you can relax and pamper yourself promptly afterward. Or a really good book, or your favorite movie - you get the idea.

[Danie]

Here's more:

     I can feel bad for a little while, but I will not let her take me down the drain to her level.

     She is just projecting her own stuff onto me.

     I know that I have have my happy place and I will find my way back.

[bloomie]

RavenLady - This is what I KNOW to my bones and remind myself of when faced with an emotional Mount Everest in my life...whatever challenge I am facing - resiliency, self knowledge, empowerment, dignity, and healing will come as I choose to move through it with courage and grace instead of run from it or stay frozen in fear. The reward... what waits ahead for me when I choose to do whatever is necessary to be whole.. is freedom. 

Strength and peace to you as you do this thing!

[Psuedonym]

Hey RavenLady,

When going through something that seems intolerable, like when my dad was very ill, I would think 'one day this will be the past and future me will be looking back at this time as something that I got through and is now just a memory'. I guess that's another way of thinking that everything is temporary but it helped me.

[JustKat]

In a sense, I am lucky for being the scapegoat child because I ran away and got out. My sibs remained under her influence and always will be.

Yes, I am broken, but at least I grew into a good person who feels compassion and empathy. I am better off!

Or to repeat what you said, I got out in time. 

[RavenLady]

Thank you, everyone! Thank you for reinforcing for me that I can hold my center and be with myself, regardless of what others might do. It's helped me. For privacy reasons I'm not going to post details about my Big Task this week, but it's a situation too many of us here would relate to. So far, so good.

I really love this:

- resiliency, self knowledge, empowerment, dignity, and healing will come as I choose to move through it with courage and grace instead of run from it or stay frozen in fear. The reward... what waits ahead for me when I choose to do whatever is necessary to be whole.. is freedom. 

YES to that.