Revisiting a common topic

[Associate of Daniel]

I've often said that my uNPD exH rarely initiated physical contact without expecting it to lead to sex.  And I know this is unfortunately very common with pds.

The other night, I caught the tail few minutes of an episode of something on tv.

In it, the middle aged wife was lying on the couch talking to her husband.  Just a normal everyday conversation. He slid himself behind her on the couch and cuddled her while continuing the conversation.  Nothing sexual.  Just affection. Just everyday physical interaction between husband and wife who are comfortable with each other.

It led me again to think of my physical relationship with my uNPD exH.  I always thought that it was rare for him not to have the expectation of sex.

But last night I realised that I actually cannot remember a time when it was just affection or affirmation or anything else.  I have no recollection of that.  At. All.

Very sad.

AOD

[Spygirl]

Very sorry it was like that for you.

But you are free now

It can be different if you find need of companionship again. It does not have to be that way ever again.

[Free2Bme]

AOD,
I am sorry that this was your reality, not what marriage is supposed to be.  IME, on the 'other side' of PD marriage requires a lot of processing/grieving of all of these losses. 

This was your H's deficiency though, not yours.  He will repeat this with his current wife. 

As Spygirl commented, your past does not dictate your future.